Infinite Monkeys |
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Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Snopes.com is a great place to find out that stories that sound ridiculous (Target hates veterans, Mussolini made the trains run on time) and are. But sometimes it's great to read the true ones, like this on Bush's visit to Iraq. Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Philip Michaels over at TeeVee is consistently hilarious. Don't tell him - I hear he's better when he's insecure about it. Anyway, for those of you who can't get enough of people poking fun at "The Lord of the Rings", saunter on over there for today's entry: Anyhow, they're surrounded by every orc in Mordor, so he shoots Aragon a look like, "This was your f***ing plan? Ride out to Mordor and get surrounded by orcs? That's some nice strategy there. Really nice. You are the worst king ever!" Sunday, December 28, 2003
I'll second Brad's referral, encouraging you to go all the way to the Volokh post. I've ground this axe before, but it's not enough to have the opportunity to send your kids to private school (as R.B. does) or to homeschool them (as I, er, actually my wife does). The government TAKES OUR MONEY to pay for the indoctrination of our children. And, in some states, if you can't afford to send your kids to a private school, you are effectively required to submit your children to this indoctrination, because of the combination of compulsory education and the extremely difficult hoop-jumping required to homeschool. There is no more straightforward way to say it: The government has no business running schools in a free society. Thanks, Mitch. UPDATE: Hindrocket is Saddam Hussein. < cartman >Kick aaaasssssss.< /cartman > UPDATE 2: I went back and took the longest (45 question) version of the test, and got the same results. "Bo-ring." Somehow, however, when I take the shortest (9 question) version of the test, I wound up being Mother Theresa. "a people-loving Macedonian dwarf". WTF??? UPDATE 3: Oooh! Now here's a good one. On the same site, with almost the same questions: Friday, December 26, 2003
Our mail has dropped off a bit, so I thought I'd poke the "Lord of the Rings" bear again: I saw "The Return of the King" last weekend. Yes, WEEKS after The Chosen Monkey. We grovel before his press pass. I feel like I need to see it again to figure out if the things that bugged me about this film are serious flaws. But here's my "first viewing" criticism: *** Major Spoiler Warning *** Here's the thing - there are magnificent parts in this film. The battle of Minas Tirith is simply freaking amazing, with "stand up and cheer" (if you're inclined toward such things) moments throughout. And Shelob is rendered more realistically than I could have imagined. It IS, as James said, a surprisingly emotional film. Nonetheless, I was let down. The biggest frustration, I think, was the inevitably anti-climactic destruction of the Ring and defeat of Sauron. After eleven hours of build-up, it is most likely impossible to convey a sense of victory that satisfies the tension that has built up. An alternative would be to portray the emotional effects of the audience's anti-climax in the characters themselves, but the film doesn't really do this, either. My second "disappointment", and this is not really any fault of the author or filmmakers, was the fact that it's "over". I finally understood, after seeing this movie, why so many epic stories end with the death of all of the characters. It's easier to walk away from something like this if you know there really is nothing else to the story. But almost all of the main characters live. Amazing, really - of the original members of the Fellowship, only Boromir dies. So, apart from tens of thousands of nameless orcs, elves, goblins, men, etc., you can count the deaths of major characters on one hand: Boromir, Gollum, Sauron, and...that's pretty much it. What happens to all of the rest of them? Do Frodo and Bilbo get bored living forever with the Elves? How many times does Aragorn have to sleep on the couch because Arwen doesn't like the way Eowyn looks at him? Can the elves and dwarves do anything bitchin' with their rings now that they aren't ruled by the One Ring? Are the clearly homoerotic overtones in the relationships between Merry & Pippin and Legolas & Gimli ever consummated? Next, I experienced some frustration associated with the way the movies were broken up. You see, my ritual for each part was to watch the theatrical release, THEN read the book, and finally watch the extended DVD version. This allows me to enjoy the movie for what it is, without being bummed out about what they left out from the book, or what they chose to do differently. Unfortunately, almost an hour of this movie was actually material from the book "The Two Towers". The additional material on the "Towers" DVD was, with the exception of the whole Denethor/Boromir/Faramir conflict, pretty faithful to the book. But there were several places where the third film fiddled with the end of the second book, and I probably would have been able to deal with it more easily if I had seen the film first. Instead, I was agitated when, for example, Frodo enters Shelob's tunnels without Sam. I had JUST FINISHED the book 6-8 weeks ago, so the encounter was fairly fresh in my mind. Similarly, the absence of a final confrontation with Saruman was disappointing. One final weakness of the third film was, again, probably inevitable, but quite annoying. Because of all of the story lines that had been developed over the previous eleven hours, and the fact that there is (hopefully) zero chance that this will be turned into a series on the Sci-Fi channel, they had no less than twenty minutes of "and I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow" at the end of the damn film. Every time you thought it was over, there was another round of bowing and/or hugging. And some of it is just so amazingly saccharine. You hate to WANT a film to end, and about half way through the goodbyes, I did. It was three very long films' worth of denouement, and that's hard to swallow all at once. I wonder if the extended version of this film will correct any of these weaknesses. I kind of doubt it, but I would like to see the movie again and see if I can appreciate the strengths of the film more now that I know what to expect from the weaknesses. Current Song: "Misty Mountain Hop" from the album Box Set by Led Zeppelin My Emily is about the same age as his Gnat. She and her "big sissy" have a herd of My Little Ponies that rivals all of Rohan, and she received the very same castle last month for her birthday. And between that birthday and Christmas, my fingers are numb from untwisting little wires that secure a thousand tiny plastic accessories to their cardboard packaging. And the hair! This year, the girls received three "princess" ponies with extra long manes. Gah! Oh, by the way, Emily made it home from the hospital on Christmas Eve and appears to be feeling much better. She's still on "soft bland foods", but there were no major problems, thank God. Erika's short-lived 102 temperature also appeared to be short lived. Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Well, we're down to two Monkeys now. Dave's gone, Brad's got a sick four-year-old, and now both of my girls are out of commission: Emily, my own four-year-old, just came off an EIGHT DAY bout with the flu. After 40 hours fever and symptom free, she complained of abdominal pain this morning - okay, "my tummy hurts" was the exact quote. Early this afternoon, it was off to the doctor, and from there to the ER. They ran an abdominal CT and now she's checked in at the hospital because her small intestine won't move. Rats. Her six-year-old sister, Erika, stayed with grandma while we dealt with Emily. As of 8:30pm MST, grandma reports that Erika, who we diligently kept away from her contagious sister for eight straight days, now has a 102 degree fever. Double rats. Hopefully Ben and James will take up the slack (I've been pretty remiss in my posting as it is) while Brad and I deal with our sickies. I leave you with this: Scottsdale Healtcare kicks ass. If you're in the Phoenix area, and you're going to get amazingly sick, have a baby (or two), or have your vas deferens severed and/or your uterus removed laproscopically, I heartily recommend the North campus. Monday, December 22, 2003
Mitch Berg quotes this New York Times article about the Navy seizing a shipment of hashish from dealers with ties to Al Qaeda. Note to Bush Administration: If the "War on Terror" is such a priority, then end the hopeless, wrong-headed "War on Drugs". Legalize all of it. Every damn pill, leaf, poppy, and chemical any fool wants to pump into their system. College kids wouldn't be buying their drugs from Osama Bin Laden if they could just grow it on their back porch. Demand reduction doesn't work. Seizures don't work. Zero tolerance doesn't work. And while you're at it, stop making me get an appointment with my doctor just so I can buy cough medicine that actually works. Friday, December 19, 2003
Just a quick comment before I leave for Phoenix--this Libya announcement is big, much more important than catching Saddam (this one is a lot more likely to make it to the history books in a discussion of the Bush Doctrine). I look forward to seeing Dean try to downplay this one...(prediction: he'll try to give the British credit, or Powell, but not Bush). My daughters are cool. Very ill right now, but they have excellent taste in children's television programming. Arrrrrgh, I be just a painting of a head! The Canon's Thunder Professor Bainbridge has a great Wine Canon recommended reading list. I'd add two works to this list, however: Wine For Dummies by Ed McCarthy and Mary Ewing-Mulligan The World Atlas of Wine by Hugh Johnson and Jancis Robinson Yes, yes, I know how annoying those "Dummies" books are. But this one is great. And the Wine Atlas is mainly because I love maps, but the text by Robinson is also wonderful. (By the way, both of the woman authors above are Masters of Wine). Thursday, December 18, 2003
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
1. Spinoza (100%) 2. Kant (94%) 3. Aquinas (93%) 4. St. Augustine (85%) 5. Ockham (83%) 6. Prescriptivism (81%) 7. Jean-Paul Sartre (81%) 8. John Stuart Mill (74%) 9. Jeremy Bentham (64%) 10. Epicureans (59%) 11. Stoics (53%) 12. Aristotle (51%) 13. Ayn Rand (50%) 14. Nietzsche (45%) 15. Nel Noddings (43%) 16. David Hume (32%) 17. Plato (24%) 18. Thomas Hobbes (23%) 19. Cynics (19%) Greg's gonna kill me about the Spinoza thing. Sunday, December 14, 2003
The joy I feel about capturing Saddam is again tempered with sadness that we haven't captured Osama Bin Laden. I say out loud that he's been neutralized so it's irrelevant, but I know in my heart that I want to see him in chains or in a pine box. I remember the horrible feeling of sitting in the Rainbow Room in October 2001 and looking south to the eerie glow of the search crews working on the still burning devastation of Ground Zero. I want Osama to pay for that. The realistic assessment is that it took eight months to find someone in a country we control a lot more than we do Afghanistan, more than we do the U.S. (witness bomber Eric Rudolph's more than five-year run), and certainly more than the places Osama is likely to be. But the optimist in me remembers what we learned again today: all it takes is one person coming forward with the information. There may only be two or three people who knows where Osama is, but if one of them does something that clues someone else in, who tells someone...there is hope. If you want to truly experience the sheer joy of the capture, go to Snoop Dogg's helpful translator and type in your favorite news site. For example, here's the translated CNN news: "We Got the Dude's Ass." President Big Baby Bush: "A dark 'n painful era is over n' shit. A hopeful day has arrived, know what I'm sayin'?" Former Iraqi president wuz wearing pistol but did not fire that shiznit. Saddam wuz "hella disoriented" at da time of tha dude's capture. "The former dictator of Iraq will face da justice tha dude denied millions," President Big Baby Bush be like in a short televised address from da White House, "For da Baathist holdouts responsible fo' da violence, there will be no return da corrupt power 'n privilege they once held, know what I'm sayin'? It's time for me to make my initial admissions about the Saddam capture: 1. I'm surprised they caught him. 2. I'm REALLY surprised they didn't kill him. Not a shot was fired, they're saying. How does that happen? 3. I'm a cynical bastard, so I'm fairly surprised they captured him today and not tomorrow, when the administration could milk the herd politics of having everyone standing there at work with all of their peers when they heard the news. I still think going to war with Iraq was wrong, and I still think King George is a bad guy, but I've got to give serious props to the military on their execution of this thing. If you're going to invade a country, killing people and breaking things, then this is the way to do it. Amazing that we have the technology and patience to execute a war with so little collateral damage. It's been a long time since we held a war crimes tribunal. Here's hoping we hang the guy in the public square. Saturday, December 13, 2003
Just got back to my hotel room after the show, and it was quite a whirlwind experience. Here's the skinny: At about 10:45am Phoenix time my plane finally lifted off the runway, 30 minutes late. A few hours later I was landing on runway 12 at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport. Runway 12. I had no idea there was such a big airport up here in the tundra, but there you go. I mean - San Francisco International only has four or five runways. Anyway, I took the shuttle from the airport with a couple people who, I swear, were extras from the movie "Fargo". "Well, jeez, that sounds like a swell show you're gonna see, uh huh." I was prepared for one of those "more stereotypical than the stereotypes" experiences. At 5:00pm Minneapolis time, Atomizer and the Atomizerette picked me up from my hotel in Mendota Heights. We had a nice chat on the way to the show, and at 5:30 we met the entire Fraters Libertas crew at O'Donovan's Irish Pub, right across the street from the club where we were going to see the show. The Elder, who knows more about baseball than anyone else I've ever met, brought Mrs. Elder along to the show. St. Paul and JB Doubtless were, like me, going stag. Or perhaps they were "together", but that is simply wild and unsubstantiated speculation that has no business in a respectable weblog. O'Donovan's was a gabfest. I have to admit that I was a little bit wary about meeting the Fraters, as I'd only corresponded via e-mail, and I can be pathologically introverted, so I was quite relieved that we all had much to talk about and the conversation was not "forced" at all. I had two Power's Gold Label Irish whiskeys, on the rocks, and I also enjoyed O'Donovan's Irish Breakfast (eggs, sausages, Irish bacon, black & white pudding, fries, and grilled tomatoes) since I hadn't had much of anything to eat all day. The rest of the gang had a combination of beers (mostly stouts - Guiness and Murphy's) and Irish whiskeys, and the Atomizers had some delicious-looking potato soup. A little after 7:00, we walked across the street to the First Avenue, a famous Minneapolis nightclub, and I received multiple chastisements for never having seen Purple Rain. The club was horribly crowded, but we were committed to having a good time. I was advised to buy a very large beer, as it would be difficult to get back to the bar once we were down on the floor. I took the advice, buying as large a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale as possible. I would have purchased Fat Tire or some other better ale, but Newcastle was as good as the establishment could offer. The show started with The Flops, an acoustic band consisting of John Munson and Matt Wilson, both Trip Shakespeare alumni. Semisonic leader (and Matt's brother) Dan helped out on several songs as well. They opened with a very old Trip Shakespeare track, "Two Wheeler, Four Wheeler", and followed it up with "Drummer Like Me" from Trip's "Across the Universe" album. John and Matt then proceeded to play several Flops originals and a couple of Matt's solo songs. At the end of the set, Dan joined them again, and then performed several pieces of his own solo material. After the "acoustic" portion of the show, the screen was dropped while the crew prepared for the second half. When the band took the stage again, the electric guitars were out in force, and they ran through several Semisonic classics, including "Singing In My Sleep", "Down in Flames", "One True Love" and, of course, "Closing Time". They only played about 30-40 minutes of Semisonic material, surprisingly (since Semisonic was technically the headlining band). Matt joined them on second guitar for many of the songs. They did not leave the stage, but after "Closing Time", the band was transformed into Trip Shakespeare, the band who I had come to see. Unfortunately, Elaine Harris (Trip's original drummer) could not be at the show, but Semisonic drummer Jake Slichter did a fantastic job in her absence. They proceeded to play about 80-90 minutes of Trip Shakespeare material, including great classics like "Toolmaster of Brainerd" and "Unlucky Lady". They played "Reception", an older track that I was very pleased to hear them perform, and several other great songs. During the encores, they slipped in a couple of extra Semisonic songs, "Never You Mind" and "Across the Great Divide". I was sad that they didn't play "The Crane" or "Applehead Man", but was extremely pleased to hear as much Trip Shakespeare music as they played. I brought along a Sony Minidisc recorder and digital stereo microphone to attempt to record the show. I had sent an e-mail about a week prior to the band asking if they had any objections, and got no reply. I have many recordings by "taper friendly" bands, but this was my first foray into recording the shows myself. Unfortunately, early review of the mini-discs reveals that the microphone was extremely overdriven, resulting in virtually unlistenable levels of distortion. You live and learn - I'll have to figure out if there's any way to reduce the input volume next time. But the show was great - I got much more Trip than I expected, and it was great to see John, Matt, and Dan all on stage rocking hard to the classic Trip Shakespeare songs as well as Semisonic tunes. The Fraters guys were exceptionally gracious hosts and very pleasant to be around. More tomorrow - right now I'm completely exhausted. The Frozen Monkey Okay, I'm in my hotel room in Mendota Heights, MN, connected over free Wi-Fi to announce that Atomizer will soon be picking me up for the Semisonic show. It's very cold here. Full report later, but for now, you will be the falcon, and I will remain... The Frozen Monkey (hat tips to, in reverse order, Anthony in the comments section of Harry's Place, linked to by Matt Welch @ Reason Online, linked to by Instapundit) Friday, December 12, 2003
What do you do when your political opponent does something perfect, from every angle? Well, it's not pretty. (The obvious corollary question, "why is a supposedly non-biased reporter a political opponent?" is one I'm tired of even thinking about.) Thursday, December 11, 2003
I have long been weary of what seems to me to be "wishful thinking" on the part of a lot of Christians. I grew up in the church, I'm about the same age as most of the other Monkeys, and I certainly went through a lengthy phase during my "musical awakening" where I wanted to think all of the bands I listened to were secretly (or not-so-secretly) Christian bands. U2, The Alarm, Simple Minds, The Call, all of those bands that used a lot of Christian imagery or spiritual themes in their music. I hated (and still do) almost all "official" Christian music (except for Larry Norman, who still kicks ass), and growing up in Bible Church Youth Groups meant getting a lot of peer pressure to listen to the horrible Christian version of the horrible "secular" music that Top-40 radio played. If I could say, "But U2 ARE Christians", then I wouldn't have to listen to Farrell & Farrell, Sheila Walsh or Stryper. My "enlightened" friends and I would listen to "Declaration" by The Alarm and extract all of the (in hindsight, less-than-subtle) spiritual "messages" and think to ourselves, "If only more people understood the real message here..." Well, eventually, I'd like to say I got over that whole thing. I do think I became more honest about my real motives - Christian music, like most popular music, simply sucked, and was often extra bad because it was intentionally derivative of secular counterparts. That's still true, by the way - who can seriously argue that Rebecca St. James wasn't trying to be "The Christian Alanis Morrisette"? I liked The Cure, R.E.M., and Love & Rockets - not "Christian" by a long shot. Yes, I also really liked U2, but not really because they were Christians. Oh wait! This is a good place to stick this: Current Song: "If There's a Heaven Above" from the album Seventh Dream of Teenage Heaven by Love And Rockets Where was I going with all this? Oh, yes: Because of my intimacy with the "wishful thinking" experience, I am particularly sensitive to it when I see postmodern Christians "deconstructing" current media. A fantastic example is the reaction to the first "Matrix" movie. You can't throw a digital rock in cyberspace without breaking the window of some website reading WAY too much into a movie made by the same guys who wrote and directed "Bound". It's exasperating, primarily because I think relying on non-Christians to carry the Gospel into the world is asking a bit much. Now, I don't want to trivialize the importance of praising art that elevates our culture - we should praise "Chariots of Fire" and "Gods and Generals" both for their execution AND their message. But let's not get too mystical about the deeper meanings of "The Matrix" or "The Game", okay? This is where I actually meander back to "The Lord of the Rings": So far, I've absolutely LOVED the movies, and the books as well. In keeping with my general movie-book principles, I have refrained from reading "Return of the King" until after I've seen at least the theatrical release of the film. Because of this, I fully accept that I could be proven wrong about some of the things I'm about to say. But, based on the first two books and movies alone, I have to agree (in part) with James (um - I mean "The Chosen Monkey" - I think I'm gonna have to start referring to him as "TCM") that these are not predominantly "Christian" works. It is clear that that Tolkien's deeply Christian worldview strongly informs his work, but if you want to read fantasy that is Christian for the sake of being such, then read C. S. Lewis. Tolkien didn't like allegory, and he was trying to construct a kind of English mythology. I think it is telling that, at least in the first two books, nobody makes any direct reference to any God, creator, providential guardian, or ontological source of "good". You get extremely elliptical references to "secret fire" and things that are "meant to be", but none of the "noble" creatures - Elves, Hobbits, or even Men, seem to have or engage in any religion that directs worship at anything in particular. The movies actually seem SLIGHTLY more positively religious than the books: in "Fellowship", Aragorn on more than one occasion performs a little gesture that looks like a primitive version of the Catholic "sign of the cross". But there is little more than this to suggest that anyone believes in a transcendent, ontological source of "good". By contrast, the concept of "evil" as an ontological force is constant. Sauron is the embodiment of evil, and it seems like all evil flows from him and his Ring. This is not an "orthodox" Christian concept at all. In a truly Christian worldview, God is the personal, transcendent source and definer of "good", and "evil" is any action or attitude that fails to live up to God's standard. "Evil" does not exist in a metaphysical sense - it does not have "being", nor does it have a "source" that has being. Sauron is profoundly more powerful and "real" (in the ultimate metaphysical sense) that Satan/Lucifer/The Devil in Christian orthodoxy. I have mixed feelings about embracing TCM's label of "humanist", though, at least based on the first two books/movies. You DO get the impression throughout "Fellowship" and "Two Towers" that Frodo (for example) is driven by a transcendent purpose that is higher than himself or his fellow creatures. You get all of those "you were meant to have the ring" moments. And Aragorn has a persona that is much more Arthurian than it is Humanistic in any post-Enlightenment sense. It's all so...English. It's Celtic and Anglo-Saxon mythology re-built. If the philosophy must be labeled, I think I would call it something like "Christo-pagan", if that isn't blasphemy. They're great movies and great books. They praise noble virtues, and they make the reader/viewer long to live in a world that is soaked with such beauty, horror, purpose, and rich inter-connectedness. They are not anti-Christian works, but neither are they "Christian", as I see them. And thank God that He allowed Tolkien's rich gifts to produce "The Lord of the Rings" rather than crap like the "Left Behind" books. Tuesday, December 09, 2003
What This Country Needs is a Good $10 Chardonnay Last year, some friends of mine had a wine tasting where everyone brought a bottle of wine or two, and put them in numbered paper bags. Blind tastings are a lot of fun, because sometimes you get surprised by something new. The "expensive" wines (more than $15) were on one table and the "cheap" wines on another, with a stack of scrap paper and little pencils to take notes. The winner in the expensive whites was finally revealed to be...Chateau Souverain Sonoma County Chardonnay. It was a ringer; it's available from Costco for less than $15. Chateau Souverain fancies itself a high-end Cabernet Sauvignon winery, and those wines are good, but this chardonnay is somewhat unique as a good low-end California chardonnay. It's a good thing it was a blind tasting, because my bias is that the primary thing wrong with California chardonnay is too much oak. Yes, it gives a nice vanilla note to the wine, but at the expensive of a lingering flavor of chewed toothpick. It's just not food friendly, and, man, is food my friend. I'll rant endlessly at parties that California should follow Australia's lead in producing unoaked chardonnay, like the beautiful Trevor Jones Virgin Chardonnay. I'm fun at parties. But the Chateau Souverain isn't like that. In fact, it follows more of the French model of only applying oak to the fuller, richer wines, and leaving the lesser wines unoaked. This wine can stand up to the oak, and delivers a beautiful, rich chardonnay fruit flavor, backed by layers of vanilla and crisp acidity. In fact, most of our tasting notes guessed it to be a white Burgundy. Great stuff, and perfect for the holidays, either with food or as a pre-dinner apertif. Now, I should caveat that I haven't tasted the current release, though I plan to soon. But checking around, it appears Chateau Souverain has quite a good track record on this wine. Now if only they could have someone fix all of the incorrect uses of apostrophes on their website... Update: I just tasted the 2001. Gone is the strange multi-sided bottle, which is sort of a shame, even though it was gimmicky. But the wine is very good; almost the equal of the 1999. It still has great acidity but the oak is less present. The flavors are more tropical, and there's still a great core of something another taster described as cashews. This isn't a heavy hitter, but its subtlety is its virtue. I paid $12.99 for it at Longs Drugstore (an excellent source for wines in Southern California, by the way, especially the one near Hi-Time Cellars in Costa Mesa or the one in La Jolla). Thursday, December 04, 2003
Check out these wonderful recommendations by Amazon customers for those considering Michael Jackson's new album. If there were a technical version of "Best of the Web Today", it might include the following couplet: Cisco exec: Wi-Fi ready for the enterprise Posted December 3, 11:53 a.m. Pacific Time SAN JOSE, CALIF. - Consumers have been quicker to adopt wireless LANs (WLANS) than enterprises, but issues holding back enterprise adoption have been solved, clearing the way for businesses to hop on the WLAN train, a Cisco Systems Inc. executive said Wednesday. Cisco warns of wireless security hole Posted December 3, 9:52 a.m. Pacific Time Cisco Systems Inc. is warning customers using its Aironet wireless access points (APs) about a security vulnerability that could allow attackers to obtain keys used to secure communications on wireless networks. (source: InfoWorld Wireless Report) Wednesday, December 03, 2003
The Pretender is I Professor Bainbridge, I'd like to be considered for the honor of joining your Council of Wine Advisors. I'm a committed cork dork, but no snob, and I would bring a different perspective on California wine. I believe California has tried so hard to produce wines equal to those in France--and it has, even surpassing them, as a Spottswoode cabernet I had the other night reminded me, or the Kistler chardonnay last night--but the low end has been neglected. One of the reasons Trader Joe's "Two Buck Chuck" is so popular is that it's virtually alone in the low price bottled wine market, with its nearest competitors being over-oaked swill that's more cocktail than wine. California wine makers are starting to get it, planting grapes that do better in these lower latitudes than Cabernet and Chardonnay (I think it explains a lot about the French, by the way, that they are actually so far North around the 45th parallel--it makes them behave oddly, like Minnesotans). It's time for California winemakers to put aside their insecurities about being better than the French (as we've recently been reminded, a low bar indeed) and embrace making the best possible wine for everyone, not just the wealthy collectors on their mailing lists. I suggest nothing less than reinventing the wine culture in California, to re-embrace it as our own, like our cheese and our fresh cuisine. The image of chablis-swilling dilettantes must be eliminated (along with California "Chablis," for that matter). Our wine can be the best choice to drink with barbecue, to eat with the world's best cheese (from Humboldt), and to toast the resurgence of the GOP in Sacramento. To the barricades! Regards, David An interesting take on Bush hatred and media distortions from one of my favorite writers, Orson Scott Card. (Hat tip: Andrew Sullivan). Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Hugh Hewitt wrote, "I'd like to bring your attention to the state's most fun winery: Kaz Vineyard and Winery." Like much of what Hugh says about wine, this is not completely accurate.* The most fun winery in the country, and the funniest, and the one most suited to Hugh's intellectual tastes for that matter, is the Bonny Doon Winery. Co-monkey Brad feels their website is a good read even for those who don't give a rip about wine--heck, it looks like Lileks consulted on their site (save for the fonts). And how can you not love a winery who's winemaker has a degree in philosophy, and names wines things like "Critique of Pure Riesling," "The Heart Has Its Rieslings," and other clever (and less pun-filled) names? The labels are all great too. And the wine is very good, and fairly priced. * i.e., wrong. Monday, December 01, 2003
Quitting Disney I join Roy Disney and Stanley P. Gold in resigning to demand Eisner's removal as CEO of Disney. So I hereby resign my Disneyland Annual Passport. Note that this is a full two weeks before it expires. And, no, I won't be getting a new one, as much as I love the Nightmare Before Christmas Haunted Mansion and the Muppets 3-D. Eisner must go! Wine is cool. No wine should be served at a temperature above 68 degrees. Period. For one thing, wines have a lot of volatile flavors that get lost in a warmer wine. Second, and far worse, is that wine served at higher temperatures accentuates the more bitter flavors from the tannins. “Room temperature” refers to the temperature of wines brought from a fifty degree cellar and left in the room to come to temperature—and we’re talking about a room in England or France before central heating. Most red wines should be served at 60-65 degrees. I’ve made waiters bring me ice buckets for red wines before, and I’m sure they think I don’t know anything about wine, but it’s actually their ignorance. By the way, the only time I’ve ever sent a non-corked wine back was in an Italian restaurant where it was clear that the wine was stored in the very warm kitchen. An ice bucket wouldn’t have helped, because the wine was clearly maderized. James P. in Folsom, CA says, "Mr. Hewitt knows as much about wine as he does about hockey (next to nothing), so he is certainly just as qualified to post about wine. "But drinking red wine almost chilled? You are a heathen! "Happy Birthday. Oh, and as to not drinking before noon, how can you drink all day if you don't start first thing in the morning?" Good point, that last one. Some support for my tastes comes from John W.: Not to worry, you're more right than you think. Fellow Monkey David has more to say, so I won't steal his thunder. Sunday, November 30, 2003
Oh, and another to Monkey R.B., for convincing me that the iPod was the best player in the first place. Saturday, November 29, 2003
Happy Birthday To Me Yesterday was my 35th birthday, and I woke up focused on one thing: Take advantage of as many free birthday goods and services as possible. In the end, I was only partly successful, but I'm definitely satisfied with my victory. Here's my agenda: 7:30am - Wake up, shower, and head up to Krispy Kreme for my free birthday treats. KK gives you 1/2 dozen doughnuts of your choice (plus the hot doughnut they give you as soon as you walk in), and a travel mug filled with coffee. Yippee! 8:40am - My girls gleefully give me presents: "The Two Towers" 4-disc extended edition and some fun Spongebob Squarepants pajama pants (so I can match them). 9:00am - Head down to Fry's Electronics for the 1-day only "Robb's Birthday Sale". They had another title, but it was clearly given in my honor. Yeah. I got a new scanner, powered speakers for my office computer, a 160GB hard drive for only $60 after rebate, and a bunch of stuff that will be "free" if I remember to fill out the 30 rebate forms. Odds: 38% 11:15am - Visit ANOTHER Krispy Kreme, across the street from Fry's, and get another six (plus one) doughnuts and another mug of coffee. 12:30pm - Drop off my Fry's treasure at home. 1:30pm - Go see "Timeline" (free birthday movie at Harkins Theatres) with Fingers. Not great, but kind of fun. It was fun for what it was: a Richard Donner film. Fingers expressed his respect for Donner knowing what he does and doing it unapologetically. I have to agree. Follow the Donner link - this guy directed episodes of THE RIFLEMAN. He's been around forever. Well, 73 years anyway. Virtually no recognizable actors in this film. I kept wondering if, had the script been better, they could have gotten Russell Crowe to play Andre Marek, instead of Gerard Butler, who seemed to be attempting his best Crowe imitation. At any rate, the movie was TONS better than, say, "Lethal Weapon 4". 4:00pm - Enjoy a banana split Blizzard at Dairy Queen. FYI - I should point out that although I have at this point received 14 free doughnuts, I only ate 3 of them. I also scarfed down a burger before "Timeline". The Blizzard was not free. At this point, the wheels came off the self-indulgent cart. I went home, spent an hour on the phone with Bank of America and Wells-Fargo trying to get set up for direct access to my accounts through Quicken, and spent another hour futzing with Quicken 2004 itself. I may devote another blog entry to how much better my six-year-old copy of Microsoft Money is than the most current version of Quicken. This is one of the few situations where I miss my Windows-based options. 7:00pm - Watched "Finding Nemo" while eating pizza with the girls - Pixar continues to bat 1.000. Lots of fun (this was my third viewing) 9:00pm - Put the girls to bed and watched disc one of "The Two Towers" while sipping a glass of Powers Gold Label. So, a pretty good birthday, all around. I did not manage to get free lunch, dinner, or whiskey out of the deal, but I did okay for an old man. :-) Let's see, so many songs to pick. I already did the Cracker reference, so I could pick The Smiths, The Jazz Butcher, Pizzicato Five, Love Tractor...here we go: Current Song: "Happy Birthday" from the album Free by Concrete Blonde It was my understanding that you aren't supposed to post about wine appreciation if you don't know what you're talking about. However, I notice that Hugh Hewitt has been blogging on the subject (sorry, no hyperlink yet - Nov. 28 entry), so that rule clearly has been rescinded. In light of our newfound liberty, I will make my daily heretical admission: I love red wine, but I don't like it served at "room temperature", which is how restaurants serve it. Perhaps it comes from living in Arizona, where "room temperature" is close to 80 degrees during the summer, but I've had warm wine in California pretty frequently, as well, and they seem to serve it the same way. Now, my disdain for warm wine used to be so strong that I would actually drink it "cold", but nowadays I prefer to have it "cool", around 65 degrees. At home, I accomplish this by keeping wine in the fridge, and then pouring it about 15 minutes before I intend to drink it. The first glass is a little cooler than I like, but the second glass is usually about perfect. I haven't looked, but I'm guessing my heresy is not as heterodox as I first thought. If wine was traditionally stored in underground catacombs and decanted immediately upon opening, then most of the year it probably ran a little cool anyway. Do I know what I'm talking about? Of course not. Oh, and I like beer ice cold. Good beer, mind you, but the colder the better. Current Song: "A Skull, A Suitcase, And A Long Red Bottle Of Wine" from the album Invisible Hitchcock by Robyn Hitchcock Current Drink: Well, it's still before noon, so I must be drinking a homemade breve latte. Right, that's it. Because I couldn't be drinking something alcoholic this early. Never. Friday, November 28, 2003
"Heidigger Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table." The philosopher's drinking song should be our theme song. Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Woo hoo! Tuesday Morning Quarterback is back! I haven't thought much of his stuff at Easterblogg but I love TMQ. Sunday, November 23, 2003
Saturday, November 22, 2003
There's been a lot of discussion today about the conspiracy therories around JFK's assassination. A non-scientific poll on CNN showed 73% of Americans doubt the conclusion that Oswald acted alone. It's ridiculous. Why is it so hard for people to accept the simple, obvious explanation that's right there in front of them? Oswald acted alone, and he was sent from the future to stop the nuclear war that JFK was going to cause. I wish Gary Larson or Bill Watterson would come out of retirement, but I'll settle for Berkeley Breathed. By the way, I have no doubt that Hart was up to something with the B.C. Berke refers to. Thursday, November 20, 2003
Everyone Should Have a Blog. It's true. It's a great thing. R.B. just sent an e-mail to his co-monkeys saying "It's just cool having a blog," and I have to agree. You get to comment on whatever topic interests you, get e-mails from interesting and learned people (such as David Allen White), and get mocked on the air by nationally syndicated talk show hosts. But do you really want everyone to have one? Think about it--do you want your mom to have a blog? Well, I think R.B's mom reads this blog once in a while. I think she should have a blog. She could tell funny and heartwarming stories about embarrassing things R.B. did as a child. Do you hear me, J.M.? I'll even help you get it going (on Moveable Type, of course). Wait a second--she could tell embarrassing stories about things I did as a child! Never mind. A friend of mine had this to say about the movie when he saw it: the lead actor in that film did an outstanding job. that's the kind of The DVD includes two separate commentary tracks - the first by director Michael Winterbottom and star Steve Coogan (who plays Tony Wilson), and the second by the REAL Tony Wilson. Despite my ambivalence toward Joy Division, I really enjoy(ed) New Order and I was always fascinated by the Factory phenomenon. Rent it, it's a kick. Okay, so my defense of the Beatles yesterday was a little tepid. In my defense, I was cranking out a blog entry while attempting to participate in a conference call at work. On reflection, I think there is a better way to defend the Fab Four against the Stones, The Who, and certainly Joy Division. It is time-tested and blogger-approved: We must settle our differences via list-o-rama challenge. Here's the challenge: Establish the superiority of your chosen band by answering the following questions: 1. Top 10 reasons my band's songs are better than the others'. Rules: You must list single song titles. Any song from the band's catalog is permissible. Medleys are permitted only if they are routinely played that way on the radio (e.g. Pink Floyd's "The Happiest Days of Our Lives / Another Brick In The Wall Part 2") 2. Top 10 reasons my band's album tracks are better than the others'. Rules: You must list single song titles that did not and do not receive much airplay, relatively speaking. 3. Top 5 reasons my band's complete albums are better than the others'. Rules: No "Greatest Hits" collections allowed, although collections of predominantly non-album tracks are permitted. Example: The Smiths' "Louder Than Bombs" would be permitted, but "Best...I" would not. 4. Top 5 reasons the other guy might be right about why my band is not so great. Rules: List 5 songs and/or albums that make you embarassed to like this band. I will take up the Beatles' cause: Top 10 reasons the Beatles are better than the other bands: 1. While My Guitar Gently Weeps 2. A Day In The Life 3. Revolution 4. Happiness Is A Warm Gun 5. Strawberry Fields Forever 6. Taxman 7. Across the Universe 8. Eleanor Rigby 9. Paperback Writer 10. Here Comes The Sun Top 10 reasons the Beatles' album tracks are better than the others': 1. She Said, She Said 2. Girl 3. I"m So Tired 4. Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite! 5. And Your Bird Can Sing 6. Run For Your Life 7. I Will 8. Doctor Robert 9. Savoy Truffle 10. Rain Top 5 reasons my band's complete albums are better than the others': 1. Revolver 2. Rubber Soul 3. The Beatles ("White" album) 4. Abbey Road 5. Help! (original British releases on all of these) Top 5 reasons the other guy might be right about the Beatles being not-so-great: 1. The Long And Winding Road 2. Yesterday 3. Michelle 4. Revolution 9 5. Blue Jay Way Fellow bloggers and gentle readers - please send links to your own responses to the e-mail address in the upper left corner of our blog. In a week or two, we'll post a round-up of links to other folks' responses. Wednesday, November 19, 2003
The STONES????? Okay, I can't let this one slide. While I would hardly say The Beatles were constantly great, I would say that there was a period of time where they consistently cranked out very good albums with few klinkers. The three albums in the mid-60's ("Help", "Rubber Soul", and "Revolver") were masterful pop with an edge, without teetering over that edge in the way they arguably did on "Magical Mystery Tour" and the White Album. And even with its weaknesses, I can still listen to most of "The Beatles" repeatedly, as long as I can skip "Revolution 9" and "Good Night", which I can do preemptively by leaving those songs off of my iPod. It's a shame that this discussion had to start with "Let It Be", which was inexcusably bad - a document of the total collapse of the band, and bearing some of the worst adult contemporary pablum ever pressed on vinyl. When a friend asked me what the worst Beatles song ever was, I responded without hesitation, "The Long and Winding Road". But the Beatles really only had a one-album "slump", if you don't count re-packaging efforts like "Yellow Submarine", and then they broke up. The Stones, on the other hand... I'm hoping Mitch Berg will come to the Fab Four's defense - if he reads that Guardian article, I can't imagine he'll let the claim that the loss of Joy Division's Ian Curtis was actually worse news than John Lennon's death. And the author refers to George Harrison as "The Other One"? Lunacy. Monday, November 17, 2003
Nice try, R.Brad, trying to make it look like we're talking about serious global policy issues, when it's clear to anyone reading the rest of the blog recently that the monkeys have gone completely feral. James is on a bender, Ben is carrying on a dialogue with an italicized writer who could only be one of the voices in his head, and Robb is drinking beer and listening to hip-hop. Me? I'm plotting several things which shall be revealed soon. [maniacal laugh] Meanwhile, Adrianna from Richmond, KY writes to say "Point: If you have one, please try to state it. Hugh Hewitt recommended this blog but that was after a tiring vacation." Point, my dear Adrianna? From infinite monkeys you expect a point? Perhaps all the works of Shakespeare? No, my sweet misguided Adrianna, the point is what you see here. Make of it what you will. For my part, it's 5:38 p.m. and I have yet to have a drink, a problem I will correct forthwith. Or, as Shakespeare said in Henry VIII, Act 2, "I meant to rectify my conscience." Saturday, November 15, 2003
This ridiculous lawsuit has my blood boiling too much to really blog about it. Update: Here's a great logo for this topic. Another update: here is a round-up of our fellow Bear Flag Leaguer's support. I thought of this idea a few months ago, and thought it was so obvious that someone must have done it already. I couldn't find it then, but finally there's an improvment on the Che t-shirts. I wish he was wearing a beret, though. Thursday, November 13, 2003
Andrew Sullivan points out something truly remarkable about this Kinsley article. If you haven't read Sullivan yet, go skim the Kinsley article and see what he failed to mention, and then check Sullivan. It's stunning. Good Beer: UPDATED Over at Fraters Libertas, the HUAC has taken up the cause of identifying good American beers, and I felt responsible to add to the list. In addition to echoing their praise for Sierra Nevada's Pale Ale, I heartily recommend: 1. From the Red Hook brewing company in Seattle, their ESB and Ballard's Bitter IPA are fantastic. 2. Virtually anything from the New Belgium Brewing Company in Ft. Collins, Colorado. Fat Tire is a good reliable ale, but I prefer their Trippel, Abbey, and 1554 beers. 3. Tempe, Arizona's Four Peaks Brewing Company produces a top-notch Scottish Ale called Kilt Lifter, and their 8th Street Ale and Raj India Pale Ale are also excellent. The Fraters also remind us of Hugh's accusation that we monkeys have run out of ideas. I would love to say that Hugh is confusing the fact that we all have real jobs and families to distract us from blogging all day like certain radio hosts with an actual dearth of creativity. However, the truth is we actually ARE out of ideas. The well's run dry. Except for James. As long as there is Vodka on this earth, James will post something interesting. Current Song: "Look What I Found In My Beer" from the album Quench by The Beautiful South Current Drink: What else? UPDATE: Monkey reader Pat D. reminded me that the New Belgium Brewing Company is located in "Ft. Collins, CO., home of the CSU Rams, not in Boulder, where the hated and pathetic Buffs roam." Thanks, Pat! Part 3 - Fancy! Part One can be found here. Part Two can be found here. Thanks to those of you who waited patiently through all of the geek-speak to get to the Bells and Whistles. For those of you who just skipped ahead, welcome! It's hard to build a marketing campaign on fairly obscure compatibility details - the ingenuity of performing Exchange synchronization through the Outlook Web Access API set, rather than native MAPI, is a feature whose benefits are difficult to articulate to the average consumer. Much better to write a white paper for Microsoft systems administrators on how to integrate Macs into their network. It is easier to talk about the sexy GUI improvements. Fortunately, Panther has several of these improvements, and most of them are quite useful, to boot. The biggest new is a feature called Exposé, a fancy new system for selecting between open windows. Even if you've got a 23" Cinema display (lucky bastard!), the stability of OS X has probably led you to leave lots and lots of windows open. Hiding and minimizing are fine, but most of us are likely to just keep stacking apps on top of each other. Enter Exposé - via hot keys or screen "hot corners", you can now easily perform three productivity-enhancing tasks. Hit F9 and Exposé takes every open window, shrinks them down, and re-arranges them so that they are all visible on the screen (or screens, if you use multiple monitors) at the same time. Find the window you want to access, click on it, and all of the windows return to their original size and position, with the selected window on top. F10 performs the same task, but only with the current application: if you've got multiple Safari browser windows open, or several Excel spreadsheets, for example. All other apps recede into the background and are dimmed so you can easily select the item you want. Finally, F11 slides ALL open windows off the screen so that you can see the desktop. You can open a finder window and browse to a document. The windows stay off screen until you hit F11 again, open a new document, or launch an application. After using Exposé for just a week, I was completely hooked. No more Jaguar for me! On a related note, task-switching with Command-Tab is a little more straightforward now. Previously, when you hit Command-Tab, the active applications in your dock would inflate to indicate which application you were switching to. This could get a little confusing, because all of the other apps that were in your dock were still visible, so you had to pay attention to the little black triangles to know which application was "next". The new GUI element is much more "Windows-like": Large icons representing only the active applications appear horizontally in the middle of the screen, and you cycle through them by continuing to hit tab while holding the Command key. You can also, as long as you're still holding Command, use the arrow keys or mouse to move left or right in the list. The Finder has also been re-designed in a couple of useful but not mind-blowing ways. The shortcuts that used to be at the top of the finder window are now in the lower left corner, and the upper left corner shows all mounted drives and your iDisk for easy selection. An eject icon appears next to any drive, network share, or mounted disk image that may be disconnected, and if you are synchronizing an on-line copy of your iDisk, an icon appears to trigger a sync operation and indicate when synchronization is occurring. The finder has also adopted the "brushed metal" interface styling that has replaced Aqua in most Apple applications. Did I forget to mention iDisk synchronization? Shame on me! You can now configure your iDisk (100MB+ of shared web space that is part of Apple's .Mac service) to synchronize with your local hard drive. The chief benefit of this is that when you add or edit files on your iDisk, you make the modifications to your local copy, and the changes are synchronized as bandwidth is available (automatically). Right now, I'm sitting on an airplane with no Internet connectivity, editing my expense report. When I get home, it will automatically be synchronized (and effectively backed up) to my iDisk. An additional feature added to the finder is color-coding of files and folders. I'm obsessive about color-coded organization in Microsoft Entourage - I'm involved in two different businesses (green and orange), and I use another color (blue) for personal messages, and one more (purple) for general information. I use the same color scheme for my calendars in iCal, and I welcome the opportunity to use the same colors to code my documents and folders. If only Apple would include this feature in their Mail application... The last feature I'll discuss is fast user switching. This is a flashy-cool feature with a limited audience currently. Rather than having to close your applications and log out when someone else wants to log on, fast user switching allows you to leave all of your current applications open, and simply open a new desktop for the new user. The graphical representation is snazzy - your desktop rotates away like the face on a cube, and a blank login screen rotates into its place. This is nice for families who share a computer, of course. I use it at home on my family's iMac to make sure the Dantz Retrospect Client (our backup program) is always running, regardless of what the current user is doing. As I said, there is currently a limited audience for this, but I think the feature bodes well for future versions of Mac OS X Server. In the Windows world, there is a feature (pioneered by Citrix and co-opted by Microsoft) that allows multiple virtual sessions to run on the same machine while being controlled remotely. Windows calls this feature "Terminal Services", and it is great for running infrequently used applications at LAN speeds over a relatively slow link. Because Microsoft has a Remote Desktop Client for the Mac, I am able to fully administer my company's Windows 2000 servers remotely from my Mac. In Windows XP, Microsoft leveraged the basics of this technology to allow both fast user switching and remote control of the Windows desktop. Since Apple is now bundling the Apple Remote Desktop with Panther as well, I'm hoping it won't be long before they use the two technologies to build "Macintosh Terminal Services" on OS X Server. Everyone cross your fingers. I've had a lot of good things to say about Panther in the last three posts. In my next post, I will talk a bit about what's still missing. Monday, November 10, 2003
Uh, "not that there's anything wrong with that." I'm not even exactly sure why there are so many naked people on my screen. Near as I can tell, some guy is traveling around the world, trying to take pictures of naked people in public places. Because it's, um, art. Or something. Or possibly because HBO can film it all and have naked people to show at 1:00am. So, in the absence of ACTUAL art, I will kill my jet lag flipping back and forth between Law & Order reruns on two different cable networks. Yippee! Panther Kicks Arse, Part 2 Part 2 - Compatibility Part One can be found here. The Macintosh OS and applications have long supported interaction with non-Mac systems, but only recently have Apple and its software vendors "gotten it" when it comes to compatibility. Compatibility doesn't happen until you stop having to ask yourself what Operating System the other person has. Importing and exporting files between formats doesn't cut it - you need native support for the same file formats, server authentication, messaging systems, and networking protocols. In practical terms, for a Mac user to be more than a second class citizen in a typical mixed network, they must be able to accomplish the following tasks seamlessly: Log into a Windows NT and/or Active Directory domain Access Windows file shares natively Use other TCP/IP network infrastructure components (IP printing, DNS, DHCP) Access a Microsoft Exchange server (including access to contacts, the Global Address List, and shared calendar information) Edit Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint) documents without importing or exporting OS X 10.2 (Jaguar) and Microsoft Office X were the "killer tools" that allowed me to do my "job" on a Mac, even though I was the only Mac user in my company. Jaguar allowed me to authenticate to the Active Directory domain controller, browse Windows file shares and map drives, and take advantage of all of the other Windows (Server Message Block or SMB) services necessary to function. Microsoft Office X finally solved the "Mac version / Windows version" file compatibility problem. Office X applications store, retrieve, and edit documents in exactly the same file format as their Windows counterparts (Office 97 and Office 2000 - no word yet on file compatibility with the recently released Office 2003). And Entourage, although it lacked support for MAPI (Microsoft Exchange's native communications protocol), still let me access my folder structure using IMAP, and receive meeting requests from my cohorts. There were still limitations, of course. Jaguar could not "join" a Windows domain the way a Windows NT/2000/XP system could, allowing implicit management by Windows domain administrators, among other network management tasks. And neither Office X nor Apple's iCal and Address Book applications could effectively access my Exchange contacts or calendar folders. Browsing for network resources with Jaguar was awkward if you didn't already know what share you wanted to map to, and properly configuring your SaMBa settings (or even finding them) was a poorly documented chore. Apple and Microsoft both addressed these limitations, however. Microsoft released a no-charge update for Office X that allowed Entourage X to sync contacts and calendar information, and view public free/busy data. And Panther significantly improved the experience of participating in Windows/Exchange server environments. My laptop is now a member of my corporate Active Directory domain, browsing resources with ease. And the new Exchange conduit for iSync allows me to synchronize my Address Book with the Contacts folder on my Exchange server with ease. See my parallel post [coming soon] on "Messaging and Personal Information Management" for more details on my configuration and the obstacles I faced. Limitations remain: The documentation on these functions remains horrible. Exchange contact synchronization does not work "out of the box" if your Exchange server is not also a Domain Controller - which would be rare in most enterprises. Fixing this problem requires intervention by your Exchange administrator, and the change is a minor security risk that they might not be very keen to allow. iCal will not synchronize calendar information with Exchange at all, and the built-in Mail application won't receive appointments from Outlook users and post them automatically in iCal. Entourage is great, but it's a self-contained PIM, and inexplicably will not interface with the OS X Address Book or iCal. But in all, the compatibility gap has closed dramatically enough to make me quite comfortable using my Mac in my office environment. Part Three focuses on the new user interface bells and whistles in Panther. Synchronicity alert - I'm typing this post on a plane, listening to music on my iPod. The song that just finished was "Marnie" by The Jazz Butcher. It's about a girl that wants to house a large cat in her apartment, and includes the line, "Marnie has a problem: She wants to keep a panther in her tiny upstairs flat, and not just any panther - uh uh - Marnie wants it black." Perfect! Saturday, November 08, 2003
Expense reports suck. And credit card bills. They suck, too. And deadlines in general. To hell with deadlines! Grrrrrrrr... Friday, November 07, 2003
Thursday, November 06, 2003
Also, when I’m doing Atkins, I frequently have the “ultimate bacon cheeseburger” without the bun. In younger days, I would consume actual Ultimate Cheeseburgers and/or Chicken Supreme sandwiches by the score, and I miss their deep fried Ravioli appetizers. So back off, man! :-) Monday, November 03, 2003
Thursday, October 30, 2003
Panther Kicks Arse Part 1 - introduction Pardon my, um, Anglo, but there just isn't a better way to describe the latest release of Apple's Macintosh OS X operating system. This is version 10.3, a "mere incremental upgrade", but don't let that fool you - there are easily enough new features in this release to justify the cost. And for those of you who, like me, are among the few Mac users in your otherwise Windows-dominated environment, this release is a godsend. It is my hope that I will be able to offer a somewhat uncommon perspective on this product. You see, I am a "switcher". My Titanium PowerBook G4 is the first Macintosh I have ever owned, and practically the only Mac I've ever used, and I have worked with technology for almost 20 years now. At sixteen, I brought home my first computer (a Kaypro 4, running CP/M before IBM and Microsoft conquered the desktop), and I've never had a job that was not in the technology field. Currently, I am a partner in a consulting firm that specializes in systems management, chiefly of mobile and remote systems. We're Microsoft Partners and we know the MS server and desktop technologies inside and out. Before drinking the Microsoft Kool-Aid, I was a die-hard OS/2 booster. Because of my experiences, it took me awhile to get used to the Macintosh. The way I described it during the first three months was, "using the Force", or "turning off my brain and embracing the Zen of my Mac." More accurately, I was "un-learning" Windows. Everything in Windows (and even OS/2, for that matter) was encumbered by the legacy of MS-DOS, and how that base operating system accomplished things. If you are a Windows "power user", you are always thinking about the underlying file system, the "foreground" and "background" processes, the different subsystems. Since the underlying OS on the Mac is BSD Unix, all of those systems were different, and I assumed I needed to understand them thoroughly in order to use my Mac effectively. But I was missing out on something that lifelong Mac users had long enjoyed - a GUI and application development model that truly shields the end-user from the underlying "machine" and still lets that user accomplish just about anything they want. In a certain way, I had to ask myself, "If I had never used a computer before in my life, what would I try?" The most straightforward example I gave to people was burning a CD. Historically, if you wanted to burn a CD with Windows you used a "CD Burning Application" such as Roxio's Easy CD Creator (the PC counterpart to Toast). You started a project, selected your files, arranged them in the directory structure you desired, inserted a blank CD, and committed the project to disc. When I first desired to burn a data CD on my Mac, I started scouring the Applications folder for the CD composition application, without success. "If I had never used a computer...what would I try?" I inserted a blank disc into the drive slot, it appeared on the desktop, and I started dragging files to it as if it were any other disc, removing and renaming files as I desired. When I went to eject the disc, it asked me if I wanted to "burn" the disc and commit the changes. Nothing more to it. I didn't need to understand that my Mac was storing pending changes in a cache and not actually writing them to the disc, the OS just took care of that for me. Now, before you start sending me e-mail about this, I know that WIndows XP does this, finally. But Windows 2000 didn't. Windows NT didn't. Windows 95/98/Me didn't. Microsoft, after years of forcing users to rely on third-party applications and understand the underlying file system and restrictions associated with CD composition, finally deigned to shield the user from all of that. Last December, I bought my PowerBook. My father-in-law had purchased one earlier in the year, and I played with it during visits to their house and family vacations with some curiosity. My only previous, and very limited, experiences with a Mac had been with the original "tan box" Macs and, later, OS 7. I didn't care for the older Mac OS, and I still don't, although I've grown somewhat more patient when I have to boot into OS 9 to allow my daughters to play some older games and educational programs. In the last ten months, I have grown to love my Mac, and I have also grown intimately familiar with many of its failings. In this series of articles, I will try to share both my love and my perspective on these weaknesses, in the (perhaps vain) hope that some of this will both reach and resonate with the folks at Apple, and future releases of the OS will be even better than the one I already love. Continued in the following post(s): Part Two Part Three Wednesday, October 29, 2003
A hearty belly-laugh goes out to Greg Knauss's "Devil's Dictionary". A particularly appropriate entry: Slashdot, verb To test, experimentally, what an infinite number of typing monkeys will produce. See also USENET. Tuesday, October 28, 2003
An unbelievable number of close calls with the fire--but my friends are all safe. My friends Terri and Allison were sure their home in the back part of Poway (near Rock Haven) was gone, but they got back and the fire had jumped Highway 67 but was stopped at their road, Coyote Creek Trail--it burned down to the road and no further. Another friend, Russell (who's promotion to Chief Petty Officer I swear I'm going to blog about soon) had a close call in Poway, but his house was OK. My friend Tom lives in University City near the 805, and had the fire get within a 1000 feet of his house. Ben had an even closer call and will blog on it here soon. My friend Magnus the blacksmith, who is on the 67 just south of Scripps Poway Road, had his home/workshop survive (thankfully--he's not insured and all the tools of his livelihood were there) but the wrecking yard and recycle center next to him burned. Another friend in Valley Center fled flames in the fields all around his house, but returned to find it intact (but all the fences around it burnt, and scorched earth inches from his back deck). (I literally just changed this sentence from "he lost his house" because I just got the e-mail.) A lot of close calls. Here's my favorite story, from a guy I know named Mark, who's wife Sandy's brother left his house Sunday: Sandy's brother, the one who lost his house Sunday morning, spent Monday evening driving one of his company's fuel trucks around to give diesel to the fire crews. At the end of the night they agreed to take him up the closed El Monte Road to see what was left of his place. They had run out at 4:30 in the morning when the fire came without warning. The last they saw of the place, the whole property was in flames, including the grove of oaks in which the house was nestled--a burning canopy around the house. Today, the property is scorched and black and the trees are burned and stark, as they stand with naked fingers surrounding and protecting his unscratched house. Monday, October 27, 2003
Doh! Time to improve my outlook:  You are Lamentations. Which book of the Bible are you? brought to you by Quizilla I should like to add this: Age of Chance's "1000 Years of Trouble" was the, uh, "record you were embarrassed to admit you liked, but you didn't need to be embarrassed, because nobody heard of the damn thing anyway" of hip-hop. Here's a challenge for those of you who can even listen to hip-hop long enough to compare it to real music. Name the hip-hop equivalent of these records: 1. The Velvet Underground - "Loaded" (i.e. the "commercial" album by a critically acclaimed band that you really liked the best, but told everybody you liked "The Velvet Underground and Nico" because it was cooler to like that record) 2. The Clash - "London Calling" (i.e. album by a previously good and critically acclaimed group that was now "firing on all cylinders") 3. R.E.M. - "Murmur" (i.e. debut album that caught everyone off-guard and effectively started a completely new "scene") 4. The Beatles - "Let It Be" (i.e. absolutely wretched excess that effectively ended the career of a previously magnificent group) 5. Joy Division - "Closer" (i.e. album by a group that everybody pretended to like, but were actually complete crap, unless you were one of the five people on earth like Paul Morley who had some kind of gnostic experience causing them to worship Ian Curtis as the new messiah of rock) Bonus: Name the hip-hop equivalent of the "Xanadu" soundtrack, and explain why. Sunday, October 26, 2003
On CNN, Larry King is talking about Lady Di. If this were a trashcan fire in Manhattan, they'd be on high alert, total coverage. Someone I know through the San Diego Burning Man community just lost his house in Valley Center...he was having a huge party there next weekend; I imagine the energies of the community now will be focused on helping him clean up. Update: I was supposed to fly to Houston today, but flights out of San Diego were delayed or cancelled because the Mirimar air traffic control center had to be evacuated. So I'm going tomorrow. But at least I still have my house. Another update: The local news is calling in "FIRESTORM 2003." Man, I don't like local news. At least this time no reporter has made this mistake. Yet. Saturday, October 25, 2003
Gregg Easterbrook has lost his mind. That's too harsh, really, but he's certainly lost his way. I loved reading his Tuesday Morning Quarterback column (no link, as ESPN made it disappear completely--Soviet-style--when they fired him for his ill-advised remarks on Jewish Hollywood executives--no link for that either, as the whole thing is tiresome and easy to find on The New Republic website). I loved reading TMQ because it was fascinating to see a detail-oriented policy wonk apply his amazing mind to football. He always had a fresh take on things, and many, many nuances. But maybe blogging isn't his metier, or the anti-Semitic accusations put the zap on his head, but now he's lost all his nuance and is going for quick hits. Take a look at this nonsense about Iraq. Let me get this straight--we should abandon Iraq? This is actually the position of a lot of Congressional Democrats, even those who voted for the Iraq resolution, and it's frankly disgusting. Surely even if (perhaps even especially if) the reasons for the war were wrong, we have a strong responsibility to see that the vacuum left by the removal of the fascist Baathist party is not filled with something equally as bad. In fact, we have a responsibility to ensure that a democratic government is put in place, and we had that responsibility from the moment we took military action (that was in 1991, if I remember correctly). Coming from the "loyal opposition" in Congress, it's transparently demagogic. But coming from Easterbrook, who is smart enough to know better, it's horribly sad, and possibly the death rattle of a once promising career. I stopped by the Apple Store tonight at about 8:30 (the one in Newport Beach; we were up there to have dinner with friends), and there was a rope line, with a guy acting as bouncer and only letting people in slowly to buy Panther. I was wearing my Drew Carey-style glasses, and I wanted to walk up and say “man, look at me—I’m wearing the nerd glasses, I got my first Mac in 1985, if there were ever a line I should get to cut in front of, it’s this one! I'm on the list, I swear!” But I didn't. I decided to take the advice of Ogden Nash: if you're called by a panther, don't anther. Wednesday, October 22, 2003
One Long Day, part three (start here and work your way up) 15 minutes later, as I wait by the elevator, someone finally arrives with my keys. I move to the new room, check my e-mail, and wish I hadn't ever asked for a room with working Internet access. My company's new web hosting provider has responded to one of my technical support requests, and has added an additional note that they "noticed" that Moveable Type is installed in one of our subdirectories. This is "not supported" and "banned" from their servers, and I have 24 hours to remove the files before they delete them. WTF????? This account includes a specific amount of storage space AND a limited amount of bandwidth. What could they POSSIBLY object to about our having Moveable Type installed? I can't imagine. But I'm furious and I respond accordingly. I'm also late for my shuttle. I race downstairs and manage to barely make the bus. While on the bus, I sit in the back and try to make a couple of calls to take care of outstanding business. Each time I start talking, the coach driver gets on the intercom and decides to tell us something "interesting" about Anaheim. I am unable to carry on a conversation, so I give up, exasperated. When we pull into the parking lot at Disneyland, he reminds us to take our tickets. Tickets??? Doh!!! In my rush to make the bus, I have left my pass in my room. Not only am I going to have to ride back to get my pass, I am going to have to wait ANOTHER 30 minutes for the next bus, because they can't wait for me to run up to my room and come back. While riding back, a plan is hatched: My hotel is the last of three hotels where this shuttle stops. If I get out at the first hotel, I can run across the parking lot, race up three flights of stairs to my room, and get back down to the lobby in time for the bus to arrive at my hotel. Despite my tremendous girth and generally poor physical condition, this plan actually works. I'm able to avoid the extra 30 minute wait, and somehow also avoid a fit of vomiting and/or a heart attack. From here, things start going "my way" a little more. I am able to get three good rides in before DCA closes, and then I walk across the lot to Disneyland and enjoy the "Nightmare Before Christmas" version of the Haunted Mansion two times without a significant wait either time. This modified version of the classic ride is a surprising improvement. I really appreciated the amount of re-decoration they were able to do while preserving the basic ride. I loved the movie, and the "little touches" were lots of fun. My favorite part? The room with the "Christmas Lists". "Good little boys and girls" are indicated with a jack-o-lantern, and "bad little boys and girls" are indicated with a skull and crossbones. Who were the bad little boys? Tim (Burton), Danny (Elfman), Vincent (Price) and Johnny (Depp). Delightful touch. When I got back to my hotel, I called home and talked to my girls. I've been coming to Orange County quite a bit recently, and every time I call home, Erika (my oldest at 6) asks me which rides I went on. I always seem to tell her that I had to work late and didn't get to go on any rides. She usually follows up by encouraging me to get up early and ride a couple of rides before I start work the next day. Sweet. Tonight, I tell her that I actually got to ride on FIVE rides, including some very exciting ones. "Good for you," she says, earnestly. No jealousy, nor any ambivalence because she wasn't able to participate - she is genuinely happy that her daddy got to take a break from work and enjoy himself. I almost cried. Super Fly wouldn't have cried, but I almost did. This put the evening on track. After a generally frustrating day, my trip to the parks, followed by a call home and this martinis-and-steak outing have really taken the edge off. I'm now on my third giant martini, blogging unselfconsciously and thinking about the days to come: Tomorrow, after work, I will fly up to Oakland and enjoy a reunion show of one of my favorite bands (Monks of Doom - with Jonathan Segel opening!) in Berkeley, and follow that up with an easy day of work in San Francisco that will pay all of my expenses except for the liquor. Things are pretty good. I may have to get up at 5:00am every now and then, and I may occasionally waste a trip, but I have a good job and two daughters who love the hell out of me. So what have I been bellyaching about? I receive a call at 9:30 - the plane is about to take off from Ontario. 45 minutes later, I'm sharing the squareness of my mini-van with someone else. No, wait. There will be no sharing here - she gets in the car and teases me, "Is this the best you could get? What happened to the convertible Mustang?" Grrrrrrr. We're heading down to Chula Vista for our "second" meeting. My passenger has a hankerin' for something at Jack in the Box (no, she isn't pregnant - I can't explain it) so we find one and go in to kill some time. No skin off my nose - they have Coke products, and my 6:00am latte is starting to wear off. I'd better get some more caffeine in me before I hold up a liquor store just for kicks. Meeting #2 goes as well as can be expected. We've been holding this customer's hand for about a year, and they have yet to make a commitment of any significance. On a recent account management call, we nominated them for "Biggest Financial Sinkhole 2003", and there is no serious competition at this point. This is not really anyone's "fault", per se. They've had a couple of notable organizational changes, and we've had to start over a couple of times. But it's still hard to get jazzed about flying to San Diego for a meeting that's not really going to go anywhere. Also, Meeting #2 reminds us that Meeting #3, originally scheduled with other folks within the same organization, is not going to happen. The latest reorganization of responsibilities has rendered this meeting irrelevant, so I am reminded that I got up early to fly to San Diego for a meeting that could probably have been handled over the phone. [Sigh] We finish up Meeting #2, and head back to the airport. I'm not flying home yet - I have an appointment in Orange County tomorrow, so I'm just going to drive up to Anaheim. We spend the drive moping about how we ever got into this position with this customer, and muse about how we might get things back on the right foot. I drop my salesperson off at Terminal One, and I get on I-5 and head north to Anaheim. It's early, and maybe I can squeeze a little something out of this trip. I have a "Southern California" pass for Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure. It's "supposed" to only be available to people who reside in Southern California ZIP codes, but they'll sell the thing to anybody who asks. When I bought it, I asked for the SC pass, produced my Arizona driver's license, and they processed the payment, no questions asked. DCA closes at 6:00pm, and Disneyland at 8:00, so maybe I can squeeze in a ride or two. The hotel is about a mile south of the park, and I stay there because they have complimentary high-speed Internet access in the room. You see, it's not enough to work 8-12 hours at the customer site, I need to be able to blog and/or work into the wee hours of the morning. I make great time driving up I-5, and arrive at my hotel at around 3:10pm. The next shuttle to the parks is at 3:35, so I've got plenty of time to unpack, check e-mail, and get back down to the lobby. But my Internet connection doesn't work. I replace the cable with my own, and still no IP address. Gah!!! I just want to check my stupid e-mail. I call the front desk, and they say they'll send someone up to check the connection. I make a phone call or two, and still nobody arrives. I call down again, and they let me know that my room has some sort of problem, and they'll send someone up with keys to a room with working Internet access. Another 20 minutes pass - valuable ride time is being consumed! I call down, and ask if I can just come down to the front desk and get the keys myself. They insist that someone is "on their way" to deliver my keys. [side note - I love the olives in my martini. I know this is sacrilege - the olive is for decoration, not for eating - but I always order an extra olive. Delicious!] I'm back at the Outback Steakhouse in Garden Grove, after one freaking long day where things took a LONG time to get on track. There is a giant Bombay Sapphire martini on the table, and I'm about to try to settle down. It all started at 5:00am. I know a lot of people get up at 5:00am every day, but it usually takes an act of divine intervention to get me up that early. I stay up late, and I get up late, and I'm fortunate enough to have a job that lets me get away with that most of the time. But today I had to be at a "sales call" in La Jolla at 9:00am, so I had to drag my sorry self out of bed at 5:00. Oh, did I mention that I didn't go to bed until 1:00am the night before? Yeah, it's going to be quite a sales call. The customer will look into my bloodshot eyes, see my hands shaking from the recently ingested triple breve latte, turn to our salesperson, and say "why should I trust this drug addict to manage my remote and mobile systems?" At 6:00am, I stop and pick up the aforementioned latte. My favorite coffee house, the Soma Cafe which serves Tully's Coffee, isn't open yet when I drive by, and neither is the backup (Hava Java), so I have to settle for Starbucks a little closer to the airport. Fortunately, the barista knows how to steam the half and half properly, and I don't get a cup full of foam. Things are looking up. I get to the airport, walk up to the Southwest Airlines electronic kiosk, and get my boarding pass. It's 6:30 and I'm still in the "A" group. This is good news - a fairly empty flight. We board on time, push back on time, and take off on time. As we're speeding down the runway, my head nods against the window, and I'm asleep. When I wake up, things have gone horribly wrong. It's after 8:00, we're still in the air, and the captain has come on the intercom to tell us that there's a horrible fog over San Diego, and we're going to have to circle around for awhile until there's enough visibility to land. I nod back off, worried but too tired to care - nothing I can do about this, right? At 8:45, he wakes the plane up again and tells us we're going to be able to land. Again, I nod off until we're at the gate. 9:00. I'm supposed to already be at the meeting. My salesperson is flying down from Sacramento, and she's supposed to land about 10 minutes before my flight, but she's probably late, too. I call her cell phone, and it rolls straight to voice mail - rats! I don't have the customer's phone number (or even the contact name) to call and tell them we're late and why. Seconds later, my phone rings. She's in Ontario - they couldn't land in San Diego, and had to put down there until the fog cleared. Our 9:00am meeting (the reason I got up at 5:00 - remember?) obviously wasn't going to happen, but hopefully we'd still be able to make our second meeting, with a different customer, at 11:30. Hopefully. I'll go get the car and wait for her at the park across the street from the San Diego Airport. At the rental car place, they've decided that the perfect car for the perfect day is a Ford Windstar mini-van. When I fly in to Orange County, they seem to always give me a convertible Mustang, but in San Diego, I get a mini-van. I am reminded that Super Fly would never drive a mini-van, but today, I will not only be square, I will have my squareness on display for all to see. [side note - Nik Kershaw's "Wouldn't It Be Good" is playing over the intercom at Outback. Ironic that I should be whining about my day as he sings "I've got it bad. You don't know how bad I've got it. You've got it easy. You don't know when you've got it good." Probably a lesson to be learned here, but the first martini is gone, and has started to kick in. No lessons will be learned tonight.] |
