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Tuesday, September 30, 2003
Blog Mop-up Vol. 3: And Another Thing What's the deal with Arnold's commercial? You'd think that one of the highest paid actors in Hollywood could afford a better make-up job. Blog Mop-up, Vol. 2: Who Cares if Cruz Wins? So much to blog. So much. All right - I've had many thoughts about the California recall/election issue, the issue of compromise, Tom / Arnold (not to be confused with the jack-ass who used to be married to Rosanne), etc. I didn't know where to start, but fortunately Brad's running commentary of the HH show almost a month ago gave me loads of items to respond to. The first issue is the obsession with a "Republican victory", which seems to be the centerpiece of any pro-Ahnold argument, even if it's not explicitly constructed that way. It goes something like this, "If we don't vote for Arnold, then Cruz will win! Oh no! Oh no!" So what if Cruz does win? How much worse will it be? A DEMOCRAT will be the governor of California. Like that's never happened before. Brad said, "I think a stronger case could be made that a real conservative ought to be ashamed of himself knowing that his vote helped to elect Cruz," but I think it really is a "Republican vs. Democrat" issue here, not a "conservative vs. liberal issue." It is NOT in the interest of conservatism that any old yahoo that registers Republican wins an election. I ask you this: If everything about this campaign were the same - Arnold's positions, his associations, etc. - but he were running as a Democrat or an Independent, would you even CONSIDER voting for him? If the answer is "no", then why vote for him now? He's not a conservative, so this isn't about conservatives winning - it's about REPUBLICANS winning, and when you start voting for a party regardless of what the party stands for, you've stopped thinking. Based on much of that I've read and heard, one answer to the "Why vote for him?" question has to do with re-electing W. in 2004 - helping to hand over California's 666 (or so) electoral votes. This is a horrible reason to select a governor. If the governor of California really has so little affect on the lives of Californians that people are more concerned with using the position to return King George XLIII to power, then it REALLY doesn't matter who wins. To get more pragmatic, do you really want a raging centrist carrying the Republican coat of arms into the governor's mansion? If the state's going to continue its slide into oblivion, wouldn't it be better for the Republicans if it did so under Cruz's watch? Is there any part of Arnold's agenda that might stop that slide? Blog Mop-up, Vol. 1: Decent food in Anaheim Well, I finally found the Outback down here, so that I don't have to suffer through another over-dry rack of ribs like I did last time. If anyone knows of a place I can get a REAL meal in this neck of the woods, please send e-mail to the address in the upper left corner. I just finished watching the Cubs eke out a down-to-the-wire victory over Atlanta in their first playoff game, and it was very nerve-wracking. They managed to finish the Braves off with the tying run at the plate in the bottom of the 9th inning, so I can now digest my food properly. In other cheery playoff news, the Minnesota Twins (go Northern Alliance!) beat the accursed New York Yankees 3-1. I'm not sure which would please me more - the Cubs going to the World Series, or the Yankees losing in the first round of the playoffs for the second year in a row. Maybe I won't have to choose. Wouldn't a midwest series between the Cubs and Twins be fantastic? No person of Scandinavian descent would get any work done for weeks. I do wish the lineup for the National League playoffs had been different - I would have preferred to see the Cubs play the Braves in the NLCS, rather than the first round, but rules is rules. Hit me with your rhythm stick We Monkeys have "stirred the drink," but kind of in the wrong direction. How? Well, we've distracted Mitch Berg from things political, getting him off on music again. I appreciate Mitch's musing on matters musical (alliteration not planned), though I have never shared his views on the sound of CD's, nor do I think that there is any measurable difference between the dreck content of CD's vs. vinyl. Oh, wait - there we go again... Anyway, I figured we ought to fess up and take the blame, since we're apparently keeping Mitch from writing on more pressing matters, like the gun-views of the next governor of the state of California. Hmm... think about it: Mitch still needs a job - and Arnold obviously needs a better advisor on Second Amendment issues... Can't you just see Mitch loadin' up the truck and movin' to Beverly? Hills, that is. Swimmin pools, movie stars. I don't have a lot of time right now, so I'm gonna keep this post concise: CALIFORNIA RECALL! ARNOLD! CRUZ BUSTAMENTE!!!! GRAY DAVIS!!!! FREE LITTLE JOE!!!! IRAQ!!! WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!! THE OAKLAND RAIDERS SUCK!!! OSAMA BIN LADEN!!!! Uh, yeah... that's all I got to say. And another thing, a monkey wouldn't beat up a two-year-old kid, not unless there was extenuating circumstances. Like the kid pulled a knife on him or something. And then a monkey's gotta do what a monkey's gotta do. it's gonna come out that that kid pulled a shotgun on Little Joe, but will the press bury in the back pages somewhere: "2-Year-Old Pulls Gun on Defenseless Ape." It's always like that. There is no justice for primates in America. They promsied us forty acres and a banana tree. Did we get that? No. Just countless human lies. We Monkeys just want to say we are offended by the treatment given a gorilla arrested by the Boston Police Department for escaping from the Frankjlin park Zoo. First off we want to say that Little Joe is not a "serial escappee" as labelled by the news media-- he is a serial freedom seeker. Secondly, the charge that he beat beat up a two-year-old girl and 18-year-old woman are unsubstantiated. We regret any injuries suffered to any humans in Little Joe's quest for freedom. However, as regettable as the injuries are-- what about Little Joe? Imprisoned for life on false charges, for the amusement of the general human public. What about about the injuries to Little Joe's spirit? We find it laughable that an entire SWAT team had to be called to subdue one ape. One ape! And even they fled! They shot Joe several times and that still did not stop him. That was an ape who wanted his freedom. We here at Infinite Monkeys will not rest until Little Joe is freed, or until somebody sends us a case of genuine Tennessee moonshine. Moonshine good. Monday, September 29, 2003
Scrappleface offers a valid explanation for why McClintock's strong debate performance didn't help him. I don't agree with Robb's take on the polling numbers. A few points: 1) Why would McClintock want to come in third? It's sad--while the poll shows he would also beat Cruz if it were one-on-one, it isn't. The impression left to most Californians will be that he lost of Arnold AND Cruz. 2) This poll doesn't "free" McClintock or his supporters at all. This is a snapshot with a small sample size (1007 voters) with a four percentage point margin of error. The truly negative hits on Arnold are still to come, so Cruz could still win. 3) Check question 22 on the poll. Most people in the poll think McClintock did the best in the debate. This disagrees with Hugh's take, but it also shows a lot of people favorable to McClintock in this poll saying they are going to vote for Arnold. "Freeing" those people to vote for McClintock would not be a good thing. I think it's actually worse, at this point, if McClintock steps aside. If Arnold takes the whole 58%, then all that can be said is 58% of the voters wanted Arnold to be Governor. Not a conservative (because he isn't), and not even a Republican (because the other Republicans who aren't running on celebrity didn't get any votes). If McClintock gets more votes than Cruz Bustamante, he wins, even if he doesn't become Governor. Both Arnold and the legislature will have to accept that he was a contender, with genuine support. Within a couple of weeks, I think we're looking at more carnage, I'm sad to say. Sunday, September 28, 2003
"Blogs good. Newspapers bad. Ombudsman dumb." This post's title comes directly from an article in which the Sac Bee's Ombudsman responds to the blogosphere's collective disdain for his handling of the Weintraub "editing" minder issue. (No, it's not on their new editors' group blog. I still feel disinclined to link to that.) I don't have time for a full fisking, but amid the expected platitudes and convenient rationalizations is this distortion: "I find it ironic that those who have slapped a censor label on The Bee would have it slap a muzzle on staffers who have a contrary opinion."Okay, I'm counting on you to know the backstory here. Those of us who expressed contempt for the Bee's cave-in to a collection of its own peeved staffers could not in any way be reasonably interpreted as having called for the excitable bunch to be censored. There's got to be a name for such fatuous spin - I just don't know it. To assert that one should not reward a group's ravings is in no way the equivalent of suggesting that they have their right to voice said ravings removed. To refuse to take action over some staffers' complaints is not the same as "muzzling" them. Let's turn this ombudsman's logic around. Does it constitute "censorship" for the Bee to take all of the critical emails from bloggers and then not implement the changes those bloggers suggest? Of course not. It's just telling to see how far this ombudsman will go to try to cast the blogosphere as hypocritical. (Thanks for the Bee link go to Rough & Tumble, by way of a link at CalBlog.) UPDATE: Fresh Potatoes is fisking the article's other points. Your money for their lives... Speaking of Adam Ant (which we were yesterday), it's not just here on Infinite Monkeys that the Dandy Highwayman is linked with primates. Ninja monkeys are meeting as we speak, plotting my demise.
When you follow the link, it tells of how 12 blogs need to create inbound links to the "council's" weblog in order to retain her "seat". I don't know about you, but it smells like blackmail to me. My answer, and I hope the answer that the other BFL members give, is "We do not negotiate with terrorists." An Infinite Monkeys mail bag entry, sent by researcher, writer, and editor, (as well as consultant and humorist) Ken Umbach: I have been thinking about the brouhaha over the Bee and Weintraub. My initial reaction was that this was just wrong, that Weintraub should be free to post unfettered by editorial review. Saturday, September 27, 2003
I don't want to hear any crap about Oingo Boingo! Mentioning XTC (who also don't deserve to get lumped in the same list with A-ha and Stryper) reminded me of a great song by They Might Be Giants called "XTC vs. Adam Ant". Sample lyrics: XTC versus Adam Ant Content versus form Fighting for their place in rock and roll There is no right or wrong Just when you think it's finished With XTC on top Antmusic, like a phoenix Flies back up the charts XTC versus Adam Ant Only one will survive Beatle-based pop versus new romantic History will decide XTC versus Adam Ant I can't tell you why Even the singer from Bow Wow Wow Can't make up her mind Current Song: "Ain't This The Life" from the album Farewell by Oingo Boingo Friday, September 26, 2003
Just to comment on something Ben wrote earlier: "Even Orange County is trending Democrat." Orange County trending to the left has nothing to do with Pete Wilson, and more to do with changing demographics my friend. It's more that the county is trending Hispanic. One more thing about Robert Palmer: man, Power Station totally sucked. Had to be one of the worst bands of the 80s-- I'd put them up there with Toto or Styper. Oh, God the memories are flowing back: Wham! Haircut 100. Boy George. Thommpson Twins. A-ha! Oingo Boingo. Duran Duran. Flock of Seagulls. ELO. Whitesnake. Warrant. Scorpion. Wang Chung. Tom Tom Club. Hall and Oates. Bananarama. The Bangles. The Go-Gos. Journey. Styx. Yes. Sugar Hill Gang. The Alan Parsons Project. Genesis. XTC. Simple Minds. Peter Gabriel. Devo. Human League. The Cult. Depeche Mode. The Motels. Rick Astley. DiVynyls. Pet Shop Boys. Must.... escape.... musical... wasteland!!!!! Ahhhhhh! There is no escape!!! Sigh. You know what tragic part of this post is? I bought most of the albums by these people, and I still have them. And every once in a while, I play them. They Always Die in Threes So Robert Palmer and George Plimpton are dead. One more famous person must die-- it's the law of the universe-- who will it be? I'm puttin' my money on Jimmy "J.J." Walker from "Good Times." Or the guy who played Horshack on "Welcome Back Kotter." I say it's their time to pass into the celebrity netherworld. Thursday, September 25, 2003
She Hate Me If you buy The New York Times just one time, buy the upcoming Sunday edition. In the Sunday magazine, the cover story is about the California recall. In the story they interview 79 year-old Charlotte Goland, Gray Davis' next door neighbor. Not only did Goland sign the petition for Davis' recall but she sent in a check for $2,000. When asked by the reporter why she boomed,"Because I don't like him! Want to come in and talk about it?" Another bit from the story: "Charlotte cannot quite put her face on why she so despises Gray Davis. She met him in 1999 when he moved into the governor's house.... "Maybe I'm stubborn," she says. "But I've got such a violent reaction to the man. It's a gut reaction. I don't like him. It's intuitive. I'm not really sure this feeling I have for him would be as strong if I didn't live here next o him." Anyhow, it's some good stuff. And I guess it just goes to show you, be nice to people, big or small, because you never know. So I've been gettting spam from GeorgeWBush.com. Some of the subject headings from the spam are pretty interesting: 9/24: "James, do you know...I love you?" 9/22: "President Bush has sent a message to James." 9/19: "just wondering" 9/16: "i'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world :)" 9/15: "President Bush Presses Economic and Energy Plans" 9/12: "funbags" 9/6: "James, your neighbors will be jealous" 9/8: "James, see how the Cold War was won! 14 Gb of Best softcore and hardcore videos with beautiful young russian girls!" 8/26: "President Vows You Will Save up to 90% - Inkjet & Laser Toners ovtgvzrwvzzl^lnubb(p... " 8/18: "Fwd: Comebacks to pick-up lines" 8/8: "dude, free for lunch?" McClintock seems to be left with four scenarios: 1) He doesn't drop out, Arnold win anyway, but doesn't return Tom's calls. 2) He doesn't drop out, and Cruz wins. 3) He drops out, and Cruz wins anyway. 4) He drops out, Arnold wins and does return his calls. Yes, yes, I know there's a fifth scenario where Tom wins, and rides a victory lap astride a flying pig around a snow-covered Capitol. Let's leave that one to tell children late at night when they can't sleep. Tom's political career is dead in the first three of these scenarios. He might believe that in case #2 he could overcome GOP resentment, and win a nomination again, but that's moot: in both scenarios #2 and #3, Republican candidates will not be winning big races in California for many years to come. There's a variation of scenario #1 that Tom might be thinking of: Arnold wins, but governs so poorly that he's a Jesse Ventura-like object of ridicule. Why anyone would wish this on California is beyond me, as is any logic where that helps Tom. He tried to beat the guy and couldn't, the GOP is in tatters, and so is Tom's career. Option #4 is the best for Tom and everyone, if he can find the guts to do it. That means not only working to elect Arnold, but working to make him successful. I'd like McClintock in the U.S. Senate more than in Sacramento anyway...but if he doesn't take action very soon, he's going to be lucky to get a job as a commentator opposite Ariana on Public Radio. The debate tonight was interesting, with few surprises. Ariana is nutcase, but some have know that for a very long time (I owe an apology to a certain National Review writer I took to task many years ago for mocking her during a forum--he saw much more than I did at the time). The Green party is so sweet and naive you just want to invite them over for a sock hop and an (organic) taffy pull. Cruz is a bad, bad man who is way out of the mainstream. And by "mainstream," I mean the way that humans live on the planet in the 21st century. McClintock is living in a world that must be very beautiful, albeit unconnected to this one (see next post). And Arnold, oh, Arnold. We want to love you. I heard a guy on the radio today say that you'd be in big trouble if you attacked Ariana, but you did exactly that, and it may cost you. Fair? No. Welcome to the worst part of politics: the odd nature of the perceptions of the electorate. In your case, you're well on your way to a woman problem, and the fact that Ariana is closer to a howler monkey on his third peanut butter'n'cocaine sandwich than to a woman might not help you. I want to like Arnold, I really do. A lot of his answers are squishy, and he's not standing up for some issues I really care about. But I honestly believe he will do what's right for the state, will whip the legislature into line with strong use of veto powers and the bully pulpit (remember, the cameras will stay to cover Arnold, when they wouldn't for anyone else--for good or ill). As I've mentioned before, I fully trust Arnold's take on economic issues. I once argued, many years ago, that G.H.W. Bush's loss to Clinton wasn't too bad: GHWB wasn't a real conservative, Clinton wasn't too liberal, and the loss would teach the GOP a lesson. Well, the California GOP needs to stop learning lessons and needs to start applying some common sense. Yes, the risk is that you suffer a tragedy like the Democrats did with Clinton--his wishy-washy unprincipled politics took a lot of the heart out of the party. It also didn't do the country any good, which is what the GOP is supposed to put first. I won't support Arnold for President, even if the Constitution is changed. But, to steal a line from David Frum, he's the right man for California. Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Reader Mail A great e-mail from reader James Phillips of Folsom, CA (I hear that whistle blowin'), in response to Ben's haircut post: Governor Davis does not get his hair cut. I don't know what it is, but it is not hair. A few years ago (quite a few), I rode in an elevator with then Lt. Gov. Davis and I stood right behind him. I was mesmerized by his hair. The artist who created it really did make it look like hair. The attention to detail was incredible. It was so life-like. Kindergarten Governor Even if you buy the idea that Arnold Schwarzenegger is a viable Republican candidate, he makes it next to impossible for anyone with an intact frontal lobe to respect him. I just saw one of his new spots. He's sitting in a classroom, or something, talking to adults of various hues and sexes. "These are my leadership principles," he says. "Progress over politics. Bipartisanship always. And the will of the people is paramount." Who writes this stuff? Who believes it? It's stomach-churning, pandering, demagogic garbage. Just awful. Current drink: Sapphire martini. Current song: "Ground Force" music by the Black Dyke Band on BBC America. "We'll Always Have Florida" Advice to The New Republic's Jonathan Chait, courtesy of La Rochefoucauld: "When our hatred is too keen it places us beneath those we hate." At the core of Chait's brief for Bush hatred is this sentence, which actually appears around the middle of his essay: "Liberals hate Bush not because he has succeeded but because his success is deeply unfair and could even be described as cheating." You don't have to read another word. There you have it. Forget the war (please!): Whatever else Bush may say, whatever else he may do, he'll always be the "selected" president. Bush hatred is, at bottom, Bush envy. Reality? Check. Manhood? Check. I'm not going to lie to you, I've been a little bit depressed lately. I won't bore you with the reasons. But let me just say that, every so often, it's a good idea to take stock of your life. Sometimes, you know, it's easy to take things for granted. You should never rest on your laurels. You don't want to get into a rut, either. Adopt, adapt, improve. Because if you think your life is the big suck-a-roo, just imagine having a cup of tea and ending up like this poor, dumb bastard. The Cynicism Behind Schwarzenegger I bumped into a few of my many Republican party friends this weekend, who were almost all enthusiastic about Arnold Schwarzeneggar. I was particularly amused by the very conservative, otherwise sensible Lincoln Club of Orange County getting solidly behind an actor who went on Oprah the other day and spoke of how "a pump was better than coming." None of them cared much about Arnold's actual positions, however. All they cared about is his perceived ability to win. One explained that the white-hot rage at Davis and Bustamante had now tippled over into a cold determination to beat him, by whatever means necessary. I have to say I respect this kind of political argument. But it also strikes me that the right really cannot criticize Bustamante as a cipher for other forces aligned behind him, when they are doing exactly the same with an actor they view as a purely Potemkin figure. "Look, if it means we get Pete Wilson running the state again, I don't much care who they put up as a front-man," one partisan gleefully explained. All of this reminds me of Bill Kristol's flirtation with Colin Powell as a Republican candidate a few years back. Why the Powell boomlet? He was black and could win. Er, that was it. Powell was a cipher to innoculate the Republicans from seeming too white-bread. Similarly, Schwarzenegger is a perceived winner and a cipher to innoculate the Republicans from seeming ... what, exactly? Uncool? Weak on after-school programs? Out of the political mainstream? Who knows? It all smacks of phoniness and opportunism to me. And it's a clear sign that those who control big Republican money are worried. It would make me want to vote for McClintock even more. After all, what would be healthiest for the future of the Republicans—a party still run by principle-free pols like Wilson or one built up from the grass roots by people with passion and ideas? Correction: Oh, dear. I seem to have accidentally ripped off Andrew Sullivan's take on Wesley Clark almost word for word. Strangely, to my fevered mind at least, I think it holds up. A note about the reference to the O.C. Lincoln Club. They're very good guys, very shrewd Republicans, and conservative through-and-through. But they jumped on the Arnold bandwagon too early and now they may be having second thoughts. They took a poll, you see. The results were, perhaps, not what they expected. What to do? What to do? Watch the debate, and keep your fingers crossed, I guess. Also, a note about Pete Wilson. A lot of Republicans have fond memories of Wilson's administration. In fact, the last two or three years of his tenure were pretty good for the state, economically speaking. He appointed some decent judges, too, such as Janice Brown, and brought Eloise Anderson out from Wisconsin to help reform welfare. But how quickly they forget the first term. They forget the tax boondoggle of '91, with the much-detested "snack tax," "newspaper tax," and the rest of it. Wilson may have held the line on spending subsequently, but he did next to nothing to reduce the size and scope of the state government. When he had the chance to kill the vehicle license fee, he agreed to this preposterous scheme that allowed Gray Davis to trigger the 300% increase earlier this year. (On second thought, the car tax hike seemed to have galvanized the recall effort, so maybe we should thank Wilson, rather than damn him. Hmmm? Ah, no.) Wilson was useless in keeping California's U.S. Senate seats in the hands of his party, backing losers like John Seymour, and he could not deliver the state for George Bush the Elder or Bob Dole. (Then again, who could?) His co-opting of the Proposition 187 campaign may have had short-term benefits (i.e., getting the thing passed), but in the long-run the tactics played into the hands of the pro-illegal lobby and the Democrats. Bottom line: Wilson all but destroyed the conservative grass-roots apparatus in the Golden State. Outside of a few enclaves, it has yet to recover. Even Orange County is trending Democrat. Wilson is chairman of the Schwarzeneggar campaign. Many of Wilson's top aides are Schwarzenegger's top advisors as well. Tom McClintock fought Wilson tooth-and-nail over the budget. He wrote the bill (and is currently pushing the ballot initiative) to kill the car tax. Almost all of his predictions came to pass: higher taxes retarded the state's economic recovery, drove businesses out of the state, and failed to bolster revenues. And that was when the budget deficit was a mere $14 billion. Wilson and his men never forgave McClintock for his recalcitrant and principled stand. He didn't go along "for the good of the party," or cave to the wishes of a cynical and calculating Republican governor. Understand that, and you will understand the dynamics of the present recall fight a little bit better. Professor Bainbridge has written quite a bit on the SacBee/Weintraub Nannygate, including this: "To be clear, I'm saying that the Bee did make a mistake -- a business mistake -- by muzzling Weintraub. I just thought the blogosphere was getting off track by framing the issue as one of political correctness, free speech, censorship, and so on. I think its a business issue."The Bee's ham-handedness may indeed be bad business, but it wasn't a business decision. It was a purely political decision. Politically correct, that is. The SacBee's cave-in to a minority caucus squeaky wheel, or to the racially-enumerated inter-office handwringing [whichever story you believe] are practically PC archetypes. BTW, can we just get past the need to all restate that the paper certainly had the right to do whatever it wanted with the blog they funded, and that the Blogosphere has the right to be up in arms over the Bee's myopic stupidity? Lastly, I think Prof. Bainbridge is just off base with his insistence in comparing the Weintraub situation to the BBC's issues with Gilligan. In the attempt to keep the blinders on and focus just on the "business issue," Bainbridge is neglecting something as obvious as the "rights" issues I mentioned in the last paragraph. There are reasons for tightening the reigns on a writer that are honorable, and reasons that are not (note: I said "honorable" not moral or ethical). There is a vast chasm between a Weintraub and a Gilligan; one that renders any rhetorical bridge far too protracted to be considered sound. Monday, September 22, 2003
There is a Point at Which the Marriage of Gin and Vermouth is Consummated... "...It varies a little with the constituents, but for a gin of 94.4 proof and a harmonious vermouth it may be generalized at about 3.7 to one. And that is not only the proper proportion but the critical one; if you use less gin it is a marriage in name only and the name is not martini. You get a drinkable and even pleasurable result, but not art’s sunburst of imagined delight becoming real." Thus spake Bernard DeVoto in 1949. I'd go a bit further. A perfect martini needs dilution. It should be about 25% water. So there. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first "Monkey Brothers Booze Blogging Challenge": Write about where to get and/or how to make a good martini. Favorite recipe, best chain restaurant/bar martini, best martini you've ever had, merits of shaken vs. stirred, is it a real martini if it's not made with gin, how many olives does a real man have in his martini, how much vermouth is the "right amount", etc... This challenge is officially directed at the gin-bibbing members of Infinite Monkeys and Fraters Libertas, but of course we would welcome entries from other blogs, as well, or via e-mail and we'll post your comments here. If you have an e-mail suggestion or want to bring another blog's entry to our attention, please send e-mail to the address in the upper left corner. Let the blogging begin! Current Song: "D.R.I.N.K." from the album Draining The Glass - 1982-86 by The Jazz Butcher Current Drink: Breve Latte at my favorite local coffee bar Laugh, Clown, Laugh! Jay Nordlinger reports on a lyric he "heard on the Muzak in a store: 'Just like Pagliacci did, I try to keep my sadness hid.'" He comments: "Boy, what a beautiful, treasurable rhyme. Of course, there is no 'Pagliacci' — that is the name of the (Leoncavallo) opera whose protagonist (the pagliaccio) is Canio. But still..." The lyric is from "Tears of a Clown," written by one William "Smokey" Robinson, performed by same, and accompanied by a now-defunct band called "The Miracles." The song was something of a hit a few decades ago. But I'm not sure Mr. Robinson is referring to the opera. I think he's making a sly reference to one of the greatest jokes of all time: A man goes to a therapist. "Doctor," he says, "I'm miserable. My life isn't worth living. I'm so unhappy. I want to kill myself." The doctor reaches into his pocket and hands the man a ticket. "Go to the theater tonight. The great clown Pagliacci is in town. If he can't make you laugh, no one can!" "But, doctor," the man replies, "I am Pagliacci!" Get it? The clown is sad! Hence, his tears! Right. (Ahem.) Well, then... It's funnier in the original Italian. Current drink: Sapphire martini. Current song: Something with a lot of percussion on the television. There Are Two Kinds of Voters in California... The ones who get their hair cut at a barbershop, and those who get their hair "styled" at a salon. I'd wager that four out of five barbershop voters are in favor of the recall. Easy. I wonder where Gray Davis gets his hair cut? Does the state have a barber on the payroll? Probably. This occurred to me over the weekend, when I took my son for his second haircut (it was a multi-generational family affair: my dad got his haircut, too, and played with Benjamin while I got my bi-weekly buzz). I don't think Gov. Davis would have been able to get his haircut there. Safely, I mean. I read that the recall is losing support in the latest polls, but certainly not among the men at waiting at the barbershop on Saturday afternoon. Yes, sure, it was a pretty small sample. Still, it's not a very political shop to begin with—the conversation is limited generally to sports, home improvement, ski trips, dogs, golf, boats, and more sports. But these days, even boat talk turns quickly to politics. "Did you know that they're closing Castiac Lake?" "Why?" "Lack of funding." "How is that possible?" "Yeah? Didn't Davis triple the car tax?" "We gotta get rid of that guy." And so it goes. (Evidently, I'm not the only one to have noticed this phenomenon—or to have employed this device. For every rule, however, there must be an exception or two.) Current drink: Lipton iced tea with a splash of hibiscus. Current song: "Bring It On" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on the album, "Nocturama." Fly in the Bell Jar Since the new SacBee Editorial group blog (like I'm gonna link directly to it...) doesn't feature comments, here's another way to vent your spleen: Email your "boos and hisses" about Weintraub's leash to: ombud@sacbee.com Oh, and here's a page of SacBee contacts, including one that might be the "deputy" mentioned as the other guy that Weintraub will be submitting to. Sunday, September 21, 2003
Free Weintraub! There's already a spiffy web graphic to go along with the new Free Weintraub Coalition. Bear Flag Leaguer Fresh Potatoes has the goods. Scroll down a bit and look for the FWC logo on the left, just across from the BFL logo. Ninth Circuit / Recall Reality Show UPDATED (again) I wonder if Daniel Weintraub will be allowed to watch the 9th Circuit "Reality Show" (Reality Check may be more like it) without being accompanied by So can California Insider really be considered a true "blog" any longer? I mean, it's still better than standard newspaper fare by a longshot, but how can the immediacy not be directly compromised? (Granted, that's not all that makes a blog, but it's something I haven't seen questioned or discussed anywhere yet.) And as long as I started this post on the 9th Circuit tv show (En Banc Live!), let me ask this: I'm happy to have the opportunity to peer into the goings on, but what planets aligned in order to make this en banc hearing such a court's "first significant experiment with live broadcasting"? Doesn't it just heap another scoop onto the media-circus-angle banana split? I wonder if any of the judges are staying up late tonight sewing gold stripes on their robes, a la William Rehnquist. UPDATE: Mickey Kaus has mentioned the "immediacy" aspect of Weintraub's new leash, and the "inevitable degrading effect" it will have. Matt Welch skewers the concept of an "ombudsman" and goes on to scorch the Bee's officeholder. (Hat tip to Brendan, quick out of the gate at BoiFromTroy.) Round-UPDATE 2: LA Observed takes a slightly more circumspect look at the matter ("I'm pro editor and have yet to meet the journalist, myself included, who wouldn't benefit from a good collaborative editor. Even so, I think the Bee erred") and the new SacBee Editorial group blog. Meanwhile, Priorities & Frivolities points out that "the hippest mystery novelist in the world," Roger Simon says, "It was bound to happen." The oral argument for the recall appeal before the Ninth Circuit appeals panel will be broadcast live on C-SPAN and other networks at 1 PM Pacific Daylight Time this Monday, September 22. If you want to understand this TV show better, the various documents associated with the case, including the parties' briefs, the opinion of the three-judge panel and the order of the district court, are all available on the Ninth Circuit website. Saturday, September 20, 2003
I tried to Blog about this on September 11th, but had some Internet access difficulties in the airport. But now the transcript is available. To put it in context, Wolf Blitzer was interviewing person after person asking essentially "isn't the Bush administration terrible?" He got this surprising answer from former New York mayor Ed Koch: I happen to think that President Bush and his team deserve enormous credit. They had a monumental but short war with minimal casualties, and I think they should be commended and not attacked by the Democratic candidate, and I'm a Democrat.I also loved that when he was asked about Joe Lieberman, he said, "I like Joe Lieberman. He came to see me when he was deciding whether or not to run. And I said, I love you, you are the conscious of the United States Senate, go back there because if you run for president you're going to lose. I'm voting for Bush. I told him that." It's a relief to hear that Judge Kozinski is on the (randomly selected) appeals panel. Kozinski is sure to at least write a very funny opinion, which could be important. Remember this, this, and this. A friend of mine who works for the Federal government said "I'll take heat for Waco, Ruby Ridge, and most any other clusterf--k you can think of, but we take no responsibilty for any Ninth Circuit judges." I'll make an exception for Kozinski, though. (Full disclosure: he's a friend of a friend of mine, but I've never met the guy and probably never will.) The LA Times has profiles of the judges. (Free registration required.) Friday, September 19, 2003
How I spent me "International Talk Like a Pirate Day" Well, other than frequently uttering my favorite phrase from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (the ride, not the movie) - "Properly warned be thee, says I" - it looked like my ITLaPD was going to be a bust, er, a "wash". But Nickelodeon came through in a pinch - when I got home from work, my daughters were both watching the "all pirate episodes" edition of "SpongeBob SquarePants". When I walked into the room, my youngest looked up at me and said, "Arrrr, Papa!" A single tear of indescribable joy and pride ran down my face. To give me lil' wenches some much deserved positive reinforcement, I read them all 62 pages of "Pirates Past Noon" and did me best pirate accent whenever Cap'N Bones was speakin'. A fine day, indeed, lubbers. Yet another opportunity to utter the phrase "Properly warned be thee, says I", when my travel schedule lightens up you'll be subject to so much pent-up blogging from me you'll wish you'd walked the plank! Current Song: "Jolly Roger" from the album Kings of the Wild Frontier by Adam & The Ants Current Drink: Grog Cap'n Hewitt be wearin' but one gold hoop in his ear this day... Twas on this very day that the scurvy dog, Hugh Hewitt, was found to have purloined our post below. The bilge rat nicked our meme and scuttled whatever remained o' his honor. Arrrrrr. To make matters worse, 'e tried to Talk Like A Pirate. Aye, twas the worst you'd ever 'ear. (At least 'e had mate Moses scurryin' 'round the cabin as 'is "servant"...) The poor excuse for a buccaneer did declare that the pirate talk had run its course with nary a reference to Davy Jones' locker havin' been uttered. Not a soul was sent aloft, nor below. The captain were a downright coward, says I, 'bout runnin' anyone through or "cleanin 'em through the brisket." No anchor were raised. Not a landlubber asked permission to come aboard the show. Ne'er did the seaworthy monikers corsair, freebooter, picaroon, rover, sea dog, sea robber, sea rover, sea wolf, privateer, marauder, or raider pass the lips of any crew or telephonin' stowaway. Nary a hint of a peg-leg or hook. And no Ode to (or even a chanty about) the water of life - whisk(e)y! Aye, he be a disgrace this Hewitt. Be warned, ya rickety cur! As the sun be settin' on this yearly o-cassion, yer show-prep fer next year begins. Avast, ye! Since it seems nearly everyone missed Constitution Day earlier this week, I thought I'd get an early start on pointing out that this is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Thursday, September 18, 2003
I consider Survivor a proud entry on my lists of shows I've never seen. But the easy-distracted Hugh Hewitt seems to have allowed the program to take over his life. He's blogging about it now. He's already got a favorite cast member, and he's all wrapped up in the strategy. Perhaps I shouldn't comment on something I know nothing about, but hey, that hasn't stopped Hugh from discussing music or movies. (Honestly, the guy's a lawyer and yet he's never seen To Kill A Mockingbird.) Anyway, Hugh opens a recent post by exclaiming, "As a Royalist, I am obliged to cheer Rupert of new Survivor fame." Royalist? Wha? He links to a page of concise English Civil War history. Does Hugh consider himself a "Royalist" because that page described the Royalists as being otherwise known as "cavaliers"? (See, Hugh is a Cleveland native.) No, that can't be it. That's too lame, even for him. Perhaps it's that he recognized something of his own character when he read that web site's account of these Royalist cavaliers: A royalist patrol was relaxing in the village inn when they were discovered by enemy scouts... the cavaliers did not make the most of their initial success, as their troops became more interested in robbing the town than finishing the fight.That might be it. Or perhaps the tv-glazed and impressionable Hugh simply got stuck on the beginning of the first study-question assignment at the bottom of that page: 1) You are a Cavalier...That's what Hugh keeps feeding into the text-to-speech web service that the Fraters' Atomizer pointed everyone to. He's using the "Audrey - UK English" voice and imagining that it's the fetching Brit-historian Bettany Hughes talking to him. No, wait -- that's what The Elder is doing. Hugh is using the "Mike - US English" voice and pretending its Victor Davis Hanson. Cool Waste-o'-Time Find of the Week Here's a terrific way to blow an hour: Make a virtual British lady recite lines from "Apocalypse Now." (Thanks to Atomizer of Fraters Libertas for the link.) Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree Discussing things as they are said to be. One said to the other,"Listen here, you two. I just heard a rumor that CAN'T be true." "That man descended from our noble race! The very idea is a big disgrace. No monkey ever cheated his wife, Starved her baby, and ruined her life." Yeah. The monkey speaks his mind! "You'll never see a mother monk Leave her child with others to bunk. Passing him off from one to the other, Till the poor child sca'cely knows his mother." Yeah. The monkey speaks his mind! "And here's another thing you'll never see - A monkey build a fence around a coconut tree. Letting good coconuts go to waste While forbidding all others to come and taste. Why, if I built a fence around a tree, Starvation would force you to steal from me." Yeah. The monkey speaks his mind! "And here's one more thing a monkey won't do - Go out at night and get on a stew. Or use a gun, or club, or knife To take another monkey's life. Yes, man descended, the worthless bum. But brothers, from us HE DID NOT COME." Yeah. The monkey speaks his mind! On the other hand, we live by the law of the jungle . . . but the jungle is quiet now. Hey, James Taranto stole our bit! (Last item today.) Monkey's have a sense of justice. That's news? Of course they do!!! They have strong and sacred beliefs. [Cut to scene in jungle. monkeys sit solemnly in a semi-circle as The Lawgiver descends from a tree.] THE LAWGIVER: (solemnly) Today I read from the sacred banana scroll: "Beware the beast man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, for he is the harbinger of death. [Monkeys nod in agreement.] THE LAWGIVER: What is Monkey Law? MONKEYS: (unison) Monkey must not kill monkey! THE LAWGIVER: What is Monkey Law? MONKEYS: (unison) Monkey must not kill monkey!!!! THE LAWGIVER: See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. All right, see you next week. We have a little potluck fruit thingy behind the tree. Mrs. Bob brought sticks for eating termites... I haven't heard anything from my manservant Charles about Hugh Hewitt. In fact I haven't heard from him in days. Which isn't unusual. Charles tends to keep his activities on the the down low. However I must plan for ALL contingencies. That is why I must now send out my Butler, Mr. Lee, to investigate. He is trained in the ancient and mysterious and deadly martial art of Gymkata. Surely he will find the answers I seek. We are firm but fair. But mess with our livelihoods, and you'd better get ready for a screaming volley of poo! Wednesday, September 17, 2003
"Thus I Consent to This Constitution, Because I Expect No Better..." Today is Constitution Day. On September 17, 1787, 39 delegates in Philadelphia signed their names to the document that they had spent the better part of four sweltering months hashing out and sent it to the states for ratification. The charter they produced—amended, disputed, revered—governs the United States to this day. Nobody—well, almost nobody—celebrates Constitution Day. It certainly doesn't receive the same recognition as Independence Day. I imagine that the occasion gets its due in the nation's classrooms. (Although, given the state of civics education, I hope it's getting better than that.) But a quick glance at the papers today suggests that the editorialists may not have noticed the date on their calendars. Nothing appears in the big dailies, not even so much as a garment-rending lament from The New York Times or the Washington Post about how Attorney General Ashcroft is running the nation's charter of liberties through a shredder. Nothing to be read in the reliable conservative press, either. Strange. Or maybe not so strange. It's easy to take the Constitution for granted. Even after more than two centuries, it remains at the forefront of Americans' daily lives. Consider any of the political controversies of the just last six months, from the debate about the reach of the USA Patriot Act to the brouhaha this week over the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals' ruling on the California recall. At the heart of all these controversies is the worry, often well-founded, that our hard-fought freedoms are at risk of being lost. It's true. They are. On this day in 1787, Benjamin Franklin, America's grand old man, addressed the Convention for the last time. At 81, he was, in fact, too feeble to read his own words. Though his eyes may have failed him, Franklin was clear-sighted to end. Everyone understood the Constitution to be an imperfect product of compromise, a fact easily forgotten today. Given Franklin's stature, his "last speech" was both a powerful endorsement of the new charter and a warning. In retrospect, he was, perhaps, the most prescient of them all. Mr. President: Charles Is On The Case I've been wondering who in the hell is this Hugh Hewitt fella that everyone seems to be up in arms about. Supposedly he's some kind of radio host. But I never heard of the guy. And as we all know brothers, if I ain't heard of him, he ain't diddly squat. In mean he's not broadcast in New York City, so obviously he's not a player. I'm sure he's a player to the penny ante chattering classes of South Bend or Spokane. But here in NYC he's a big zero. He wouldn't even get to have dinner with Fareed Zakaria. But this Hugh Hewitt is apparently causing some kind of a ruckus in America's heartland. So I decided to investigate. Find out the real deal. Who is Hugh Hewitt? What's his angle? Is he a demagogue? Is he a wolf in sheep's clothing? What brand of charlatanism is he trying to sell to the American people? So, I sent my loyal manservant Charles out to get some information about this Hugh Hewitt. Charles does my dirty work. He's six-foot-seven with cornrow braids. 300 pounds of pure muscle. And he's got a bad attitude. He answers to me and me alone. All of the Monkey fear him, as they rightly should. "Don't cross Charles," I tell them. And they don't because they know that to do so would have them facing wrath of God type violence. Like in the Old Testament or the Book of Revelation. The serious shit. Wars and pestilence and turning into pillars of salt and earthquakes and rivers turning to blood and fire from the sky type of violence. I know I'm sounding all mystical and everything, but what I'm saying is, when Charles is on the case, Charles means business. Anyhow, what I'm saying is, I sent Charles out get the dish on Hugh Hewitt. "Find if he has weird predilictions, or dirty little secrets like having sex with barnyard animals or underage girls. I want to know everything you hear me Charles! EVERYTHING!" Anyhow Mr. Hewitt, I just wanted you to know--Charles is on the case. He's busting heads and taking names. And I'm telling you Hugh, like I tell the other Monkeys: don't cross Charles. Consider yourself warned. There's a pair of photos posted over at Fraters Libertas. They compare the strikingly similar appearances of professional radio man Paul Harvey and johnny-come-lately wannabe Hugh Hewitt. I should point out that the Fraters boys should have used this picture of Hugh to go beside Mr. Harvey's. I first saw that promo photo of Hugh in his studio. He keeps two 8x10's of it on his desk. (Well, now that I think about it, it seems like every staffer's desk in the place had a 4x6 framed copy.) Yes, I've seen that photo up close, and trust me, there's been a lot of airbrushing done. The odd thing about the Paul Harvey picture is that the tiny flash-shadows resulting from his seventies-style sideburns fall right on his earlobes making it look like there are little holes there, you know -- like for earrings. Everyone knows that Paul Harvey does not have pierced ears. What everyone does not know is that Hugh Hewitt's ears are pierced. No, it doesn't show up well in the photo of him that they've used. The Salem Radio people probably requested that it be "touched up." That's why I recommend the other picture. (It's small, so you'll have to look real close.) Now, I was as shocked as I'm sure you are. But when I was in-studio earlier this month, there was no denying that this guy must sometimes wear earrings. Well, not dangling goofy hoops or anything like Duane his producer wears, or like the expand-o-hole tribal wood discs that Adam Young-man wears. No, it looks like Hugh's are probably more like simple, conservative studs. Nothing too flashy. I think he wrote about this sort of judgment with regard to personal appearance his his latest book; In, But Not Out. Tuesday, September 16, 2003
Yesterday the all-too-frequent subject of my posts (radio-man Hugh Hewitt) put out a call for submissions; what ought the Northern Alliance of Blogs hold out for as it is courted by the opposing sides in the latest Great Blog War? Well, having been "dispatched" by Hugh as the negotiator between himself and his rebellious underlings back on August 29th, I emailed him, "Hey, I thought I was your [third-party] bag-man on NA matters of negotiation." Referring to the mischief I caused around his studio earlier this month as an operator for the Fraters Fedayeen [despite the fact that it lead to a peaceful resolution], Hugh responded, "Like I want Richelieu working for me..." My reply: C'mon, as a Protestant [in more than the ecclesiastical sense], it was my duty to defend the resistant Hug(h)uenots who faced the threat of being crushed under your intendant thumb.[Hewitt's archives are not equiped with permalinks, though they are accessible through a sort of calendar feature under the "archives" link at the very bottom of his homepage. His posts in the background matters discussed in this post may be found in his Aug. 27th and 29th "Message of the Day" posts. For some background on Richelieu, see this brief bio.] In the Grave Will Be Sleeping Enough If I read this story right, I'm brash and reserved, suspicious and gregarious, sensitive and, uh, a woman? "What's interesting is that the profile behind the posture is often very different from what we would expect," says the guy behind this new study of how people sleep and what it's supposed to mean. All I know is, I usually go to bed in the fetal position and wake up when my son jumps on my head. Apart for that, I'm sort of interested in all this sleep talk, mostly because talking about it is a cheap but strangely satisfying substitute for the real thing. One of the books near the top of my "read for fun" pile is a title I bought from Amazon UK last year called Counting Sheep, by Paul Martin. It's not just some dry text about the biological whys and wherefors of sleeping. As a matter of fact, "It is as keen on literature as it is on science." Or so I just read in the London Guardian review. I think the review that persuaded me to pay the exorbitant price for it (the book hasn't been published in the U.S. yet, and I wasn't really thinking about the unfavorable exchange rate) appeared in the Telegraph, but I can't seem to find it on the web. Maybe I dreamed it? Yes, yes, that's probably right. Killing Me Softly With Football So I suffered my first loss in my fantasy football league. Now I am 1-1. Therere is nothing like the sting of defeat. It's all Trent Green's fault. You let me down Trent. Big time. Big time. I hurt, oh I hurt. I'm all twisted up inside. I don't even feel like writing about Arnold Scwarzeneggar's appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show. That's how much I hurt. Damn you Trent Green! Damn you!!! Damn you!!! And damn Dick Vermiel. Throw the freaking balll to Tony Gonzales!! What's so hard about that! And I have to do running backs by committee. It's just so much responsibility being a fantasy league coach. So trying. So everything. I think I can talk about Arnold on Oprah now. Oooh, that's sounds kinda dirty. Yeah. Huh. I wonder. I wonder what that'd be like-- Arnold on Oprah. I'd pay good money to see that. Just for the weird sex freak show quality of all. Arnold on Oprah. That would be an interesting porno movie. You got your interracial thing. Muscle guy slash big mama thing. Maybe you have like Steadman in the shadows watching them do it. That would be kinky. And maybe Maria Shriver gets involved. Yeah. A three-way. I'm liking this porno movie already. And you know Oprah ain't bad looking. It's not she's like Star Jones from "The View." I'm just saying -- she ain't half bad. And let's be honest brothers, when you turn out the light, it's all the same. Turn out the lights, you could be Oprah winfrey or Halle Berry.When you turn out the lights, it don't matter at that point. If we're being honest. Anyhow, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, fantasy football league. Damn you Trent Green. Dick Vermeil throw the ball to Tony Gonzales. Oh yeah, and Arnold on the Oprah Winfrey show-- he wasn't half bad. Monday, September 15, 2003
Mr. B Natural? My 15-month-old son likes to dance. He knows how to turn on our clock radio, which is tuned to a country music station. He's the only infant we know who will spend and hour or more plinking away on a toy piano. He can tap along to a song in time, and, in fact, has been doing this since he was about six-months old. It may have helped that we played almost nothing but classical music--everything from Alkan to Zemlinsky, with massive doses of Bach (the real stuff, not that "Baby Needs Bach" crap)--for the first couple of months after he was born. But I'd like to think he was born this way, that he's hard-wired for sound. Scientists don't know for sure, but they have some ideas, as the New York Times reports in Tuesday's paper. One group of researchers from Montreal Neurological Institute took PET scans of musicians' brains while they listened to certain compositions. "The music, the researchers reported, activated similar neural systems of reward and emotion as those stimulated by food, sex and addictive drugs." Psychologists disagree about how and why the brain developed a faculty for enjoying music. It may have been an accident. But, as the Times notes, "Darwin suggested that human ancestors, before acquiring the power of speech, 'endeavored to charm each other with musical notes and rhythm.' It is because of music's origin in courtship, Darwin believed, that it is 'firmly associated with some of the strongest passions an animal is capable of feeling.'" Well, I'm not a psychologist and my knowledge of biology is limited to what I learned and quickly forgot in high school and Bio for Dummies in college. Could there be something else at work here? Watching my son tap-tap-tap along to a song on the radio, it makes a good deal of sense to me. Quite clearly, Western Civilization is going into the toilet. Bad enough that republican government is being usurped by unelected judges with suspect partisan motives. Now an acute case of philistinism has broken out in the pages of The Spectator of London. Tom Utley, reflecting on the recent theft of Leonardo da Vinci's "Madonna of the Yarnwinder" from Drumlanrig Castle, writes: The shameful truth swept over me that hardly ever had I sat through a play or a concert—let alone a ballet or an opera—without secretly longing for it to end. Oh, I would tell my friends afterwards that it had been wonderful, and that they really must go and see it—particularly if the reviews were good, and the byline was something highbrow like Chekhov or Verdi. I would not add that I had spent the last 40 minutes of the show shifting my weight from one buttock to the other, sweating in the heat and dying for a pee, glancing furtively at my watch, yearning for the final curtain and the dash to the pub.Look, of course this has happened to me, too, from time to time. I've sat through a few really horrible concerts. I once dozed off in the front row of the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion during a performance of Mahler's 5th, and I love Mahler, but the Pittsburgh Symphony just wasn't doing it for me. But I've sat through some truly marvelous performances wishing they wouldn't end. Utley is a clever writer, and there's really no arguing questions of taste, but given a choice between between—oh, I don't know—"South Park" and Michelangelo, or Led Zeppelin and Shostakovich, it's really no contest. (But if it's James Brown versus Mozart, I'd have to think about it a minute...) Speaking of hard choices, Terry Teachout every week has a feature called "In the Bag," which challenges readers to choose five pieces of art (music, novels, paintings, etc.) on the fly, "no matter how uncool they may sound." I've tried this a few times, but I keep coming up with the same stuff. I guess I'm more of a philistine than I'd like to think. Our Robed Masters II Prestopundit has a pretty comprehensive round-up of commentary on the 9th Circuit's ruling. Rough and Tumble links to the big stories, including a report that the appeal will go directly to the United States Supreme Court, and not the 9th circuit en banc. So much for Arnie Steinberg's prediction that the ruling will be thrown out by Wednesday. "If Justice O'Connor were around, she might ask the full Supreme Court," writes Steinberg. "But I don't think Scalia would. And, I don't think it will ever get to them." We'll see. In related news, Dan Weintraub reports that if the recall drags out 'til March, Tom McClintock will run for governor and seek reelection to state senate simultaneously. Run, Tom, run. Our Robed Masters Read the 9th Circuit's opinion on the recall case, if you haven't already. It is no exaggeration to say that the court has ruled that voters are too stupid to know how to vote correctly. The proof of this appears on the fourth page of the opinion: "After casting a ballot, the punchcard voter does not have the opportunity to inspect the ballot for vote accuracy. All the voter is left to examine is a standard Hollerithian punchcard with holes punched through certain numbers." This is, if not a lie, a deliberate distortion of the truth. The judges fail to point out that each candidate (or ballot measure) is assigned a number. That number corresponds with the numbers on the punchcard. It's a simple matter, really, to compare the number next your favorite candidate with the number you punched out on the ballot. Unless, of course, you're too dim to know that the missing number on the ballot is the one you punched out. Which may be a problem for certain liberal federal court judges, but most of us seem to have grasped this fairly elementary concept. The judges go on to observe that, "If the ballot is not positioned correctly in the voting machine, the incorrect rectangles [chads] will be removed. If the chad is not removed completely by the stylus, the tabulation machine may not count the vote. Unlike mechanical lever machines, the VotoMatic does not have any built-in protection preventing the voter from casting more than one vote for a candidate or ballot measure." True enough. But who, after the events of 2000, doesn't check his ballot to make sure no chads are left dangling? And, again, if voting is so important, who wouldn't take the time and care to ensure that he's punched his ballot correctly? There's more along these lines, enough to make you sick. The fact is, whatever you may think of the recall, it's constitutional. Gray Davis was going to be out on his rump on October 8, no question. But it's clear that the judges felt they needed to intervene because the voters just might do the wrong thing (or, more charitably in the judges' eyes, might not realize what they're doing), and this one would be hard to fix. "Once the election occurs, the harm will be irreparable because Plaintiffs are without an adequate post-election remedy." Harmful to whom, exactly? Uh, I'm not sure if we do things differently here in the Grand Canyon State, but why was it okay for Gray Davis to get ELECTED with outmoded ballot counting technology, but it's not okay for him to be RECALLED two years later using the exact same technology? I wasn't going to write about this. But then I woke up this morning with a phrase running through my head. It sounded just like Mr. Dursley in the first Harry Potter book/movie. Harry's guardian had been driven nearly around-the-bend by the constant barrage of letters being delivered accepting Harry to the School of Magic. When Sunday finally rolled around, Dursley expressed relief: "There's no post on Sunday..." It briefly became a mantra for him, sing-song-ily repeating, "No post on Sunday. No post on Sunday. No post on Sunday..." This morning I was nearly driven mad by a mantra that had invaded my brain. There's no -o on "Instapundit." No -O on "Instapundit." Though our group blog has not yet determined its collective will in the Great Blog War, this tiny bit of cathartic blogging may illuminate a small hole in the in the opening strategy of the Alliance of Free Blogs. (Not much, granted, but wiser minds than mine may be able to find an advantage through this grammatical equivalent of a "small unguarded exhaust port.") The Alliance's solgan, "Instapundito delenda est," is not exactly proper Latin. (Though it's not as bad as "Fraters Libertas," which should read "Fratres Libertatis.") Obviously, it's based on the old line from Cato the Elder, who ended every speech before the Senate, no matter what the topic, with Carthago delenda est , "Carthage must be destroyed." The phrase had recently been adopted and adapted by radio man Hugh Hewitt as "The power of the Democratic party must be destroyed. So, we can see the model the Alliance is trying to fit. But, in true pedantic nature, I can't help but nitpick. Happily, they do have the (complicated passive paraphrastic) verb form correct, but that has come unchanged from the original. The proper names Cato and Carthago seem to have lulled the Alliance of Free Blogs into some sloppy assumptions. In classical Latin, we almost never see nouns ending in -o. A few proper names, yes. But they're relatively rare exceptions. The word pundit comes to us from Hindi and Sanskrit and has an etymological origin late in the 17th century A.D. In my book, that just wouldn't hold up as an o-ending proper noun. Not when we're talking about the slogan on an emblem, after all. My best guess? It's a 3rd Declension Neuter Noun: Singular Plural Nominative Instapundit Instapundites Genitive Instapunditis Instapunditum Dative Instapundite Instapunditibus Accusative Instapunditem Instapundites Ablative Instapundite Instapunditibus Not an -o in sight. Okay, okay... I'm sorry. I just had to get it out. Friday, September 12, 2003
qui fugiebat rursas proeliabitur "he who has fled will do battle once more*" -Tertullian Ben and I have been exchanging emails about Bruce Herschensohn's guest spot on (what else?) the Hugh Hewitt Show. We're typing as the multi-segment interview plays out. [I don't have clearance yet to post Ben's off-blog comments, so you'll only get my side of the conversation until a deal can be struck, and an update can be posted.] Well, it's probably not surprising to hear me say it, but... I didn't think Hugh got his ass kicked or handed to him or anything. He was just surprised at Bruce's positions. I didn't really hear Herschensohn make a solid case in favor of McClintock. In fact, I thought his line about not being able to look at himself in the mirror the morning after he hypothetically voted for Schwarzenegger was silly and self-centered. I think a stronger case could be made that a real conservative ought to be ashamed of himself knowing that his vote helped to elect Cruz. [Ben responds with the claim that I'm very close to prompting a substantial blog entry from him detailing why one should vote McClintock over Schwarzenegger.] Bring it on. I might learn something. Bruce Herschensohn on the morning after a vote for McClintock: "I will have done what I thought was right," and (later), "I have a belief in a philosophy and a person." That's fine in a primary. But it's masturbatory in a run-off like this. I mean, Herschensohn has stated that he doesn't have a real problem with Arnold. But he thinks McClintock is better. This is not theology. It's politics. This is the arena in which compromise is standard fare. You know the line about letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. But to what end? I don't see the virtue in handing power to one's opponents. If it were only about Bruce and his self esteem, that would be fine. But it's not just about him. It's about a whole heckuva lot more. If it's not bigger than just the individual conservative's self image, then why the reluctance to compromise? Better to be eaten by the lions than recant your saving faith? Yes. Better dead than red? Well, okay. But better unsullied than back on the road to empowerment? To what degree? And for what are we trying to keep our prom dresses pristine? [The interview was still playing on the radio.] Okay, now Herschensohn is making an appeal to history and the "unpredictability" of Reagan without Ford as a Co-President running mate. This is at least reasonable. In matters like this, I must defer to my elder's experience, if not wholly, at least respectfully. But somebody's gonna get to indulge in a big "I-told-ya-so." I won't mind being on the losing end of that deal. How will a McClintock supporter feel about it? Is the satisfaction of being "right" worth it? A guy claiming to be a state senator from (my home state of) Arizona called up after Herschensohn was off the air. Hewitt took the call blindly, without it being screened. The senator explained that Herschensohn had done an excellent job of illustrating why Republicans are great -- at losing elections. He offered the analogy of a starving man who walks into a restaurant and asking for filet mignon. "Sorry, all we have is T-bone." "Nope, I like filet mignon and think it would be better for me." And the senator used the word "selfish." As the show went on, Califonia Assemblyman John Campbell came on for a scheduled visit. He likened Herschensohn's position to a football strategy. Campbell described California's Republican party as being on their own 10-yard line. How did they get that deep in their own territory? He explained that the Democrats have been willing to play incrementally. Three yards and a cloud of dust. Over and over again. Before you know it, they've moved the length of the field, several times over, repeatedly scoring legislative touchdowns and field goals. Now the Republicans have a chance to advance the ball. But the only play Herschensohn's wants to call is a Hail-Mary pass to the end zone 90 yards away. *Yes, it's usually translated as the familiar, "He who fights and runs away..." I think that literal translations add to the understanding of such nuggets of ancient wisdom by helping us to see them freed from the pall of cliché. I'll admit it, I do fantasy league baseball and football and basketball. It brings out a dark side in me, like my fascination with German girls. Anyhow, judging from the trash talking in my leagues, I always wondered: why hasn't there been a weird fantasy murder? Fantasy league been around for a while, and you'd think by now somebody woulda done something by now. Somebody getting burned in a bad trade. Something. Weird. Disturbing. Freaky. Something that makes people look at fantasy league guys like they Dungeons & Dragons. That kind of weird. I was listening to Johnny Cash before Johnny Cash was cool . . . for, what? The seventh or eighth time in his career? Anyway, before the kids re-discovered him in the '90s (with a little help from Rick Rubin). My mom and dad loved Johnny Cash. Whenever we took those long summer road trips, he could often be heard on the old Dodge van's tapedeck. Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, Burl Ives, not to mention Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass--they were all in heavy rotation on my parents' playlist. And I hated them all. Hey, I was 13. I wanted to listen to Motley Crue. But good music is like a virus. Little by little, I became infected. And so it was hard to resist when I heard The Man In Black sing "One" and "I Won't Back Down." My dad didn't think much of the new stuff. "He's not really singing anymore," Dad would say. "This doesn't sound like Johnny Cash at all." Well, it's true that Cash didn't exactly sing in his last years, but there was no denying it was him. He had one of the most recognizable voices in all of music. He got under the music. He made the songs his own. RIP, Johnny. We'll meet again. Which Came First, the Chicken or the Eggheads? David Skinner has a piece at The Weekly Standard online called When Linguists Attack. Yes, the humor contained therein is aimed at a pretty narrow audience - dorks like me (and probably King at SCSU Scholars) who enjoy pedantic banter. But Skinner winds up showing us just how insufferable the scholastic progressives' utopia would be. One thing though. Skinner seems to miss the point that one cannot get anywhere trying to use truth as a defense against these lingual fascists. The notion that the real world's condition supports the so-called stereotypes in your sample sentences (you'd probably have to read the article for this to make much sense) practically proves some of these hyper-linguists' points for them. [WARNING: Hip-deep geek speak a comin'] Theories such as Benjamin Whorf's Principle of Linguistic Relativity, and the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis basically propose that the language people use doesn't just mirror and communicate the thoughts they have. No, these theorists believe that the language actually defines what and how people think. (This isn't new to you if you've read Orwell. It's just like the theory behind NewSpeak. But that fictional language was artificially restricted and strategically manipulated -- for people's own good. Sound familiar?) Some real life linguists actually argue that "thoughts [are] determined by the language available to express them." Begin to grow that culture in an ivory tower petri dish, and soon, you wind up with a justification for microscopic nitpicking of textbooks and battalions of PC language police. Is it any wonder that this is the branch of academia that Noam Chomsky emerged from? (To his credit, Chomsky argued against Sapir-Whorf, but still managed to get a monkey named after him -- Nim Chimpsky, whose web page features a link to Famous Monkeys Through History. [Yes, that was a nerdy post. Anybody want to talk about E-Prime?] Thursday, September 11, 2003
Michael Lehmann made one good movie. Arguably, one great movie. Then he made Hudson Hawk. Funny, if your expectations were low. And then, a seemingly endless cavalcade of crap. "Airheads", people! "My Giant", even. "MEET THE APPLEGATES"!!! And, tragically, "The Truth About Cats and Dogs". Why would ANY cable channel air this swill? Somebody lost a bet, I'm guessing. Steer clear of all Michael Lehmann movies that do not feature either Christian Slater brandishing a firearm in the school cafeteria or, MAYBE, a secret agent named "Chlamydia". I don't know why the Swedes keep killing their elected officials. Neither does the Jazz Butcher. Could we learn something from this cold-hearted Viking alternative to democratic elections? It's hard to say... [I'm just kidding, of course - my in-laws are some of the friendliest people you'll ever meet. Everyone minds their own business - a trait I wish I could attribute to my mom's family some times...] Light A Candle Against The Darkness I find today to be a difficult day on which to write. I didn't expect to be posting anything today. But here I am. Today Mitch Berg wrote, among other things, about his feelings over the last few years -- wanting to make the world a better place. There are lots of moving articles today about the September 11th anniversary. I would encourage you to read several. But I would like to take this odd opportunity to point out another set of horrors, and a sliver of hope; a way that we can do something -- something that must be done. A few weeks ago, Claudia Rosett authored a must-read article on the personal human faces of the North Korean refugees whom we almost never hear about. In writing about it, I mentioned a German doctor who has been tirelessly dedicating himself to exposing the plight of the average North Korean citizens and the (numerous) North Koreans persecuted by their own government. The doctor's name is Norbert Vollertsen. A Wall Street Journal article that he has written can be found here. (Special thanks to James Taranto.) I encourage, no, I beg you to read it. Yes, it's grim. And I apologize for piling on, this somber day. (I wouldn't be surprised if I got feedback about how inappropriate it was for me to champion this cause on the anniversary of 9/11. I may be out of line here, but given the gravity of the topic, I am willing to run the risk.) The good news is that there is a bit of progress being made. As Claudia Rosett mentioned on the radio last Wednesday, Kansas Senator Sam Brownback is backing a new draft bill that would seek to open channels for North Korean refugees to immigrate to the U.S., and put much needed pressure on South Korea to recognize it's long ignored obligations to other NoKo refugees. This Rich Lowry article on the bill, its supporters, and its potential impact should serve as a bookend to the Vollertsen article. Please take the time to learn about this subject. Chances are, you're just not going to hear about it in the regular media. But these very real people trapped in a hopeless gulag of a country need to be noticed by us. They're not asking for much. In truth, they can't ask us for anything. We must make the effort to turn our attention to them and their plight. As a beacon of freedom (yes, we are), and as that shining city on a hill, aren't we obligated by our history and our conscience to lend our attention to those who would risk their lives to escape a most brutal tyranny? Click here for that first post of mine, about Claudia Rosett's "Where is Ms. Cho?" article. In it, I call for the blogosphere to take the time to dig into this issue (remember the blog rally to shine the light of international attention on the Iranian students a few months back?). Links are included. Mitch at Shot in the Dark really got it. So did a few others. My hope would be that we take this time between now and the next round of international nuclear talks with the North Korean government to study up on the details of that country's refugee crisis. Nuclear arms are not the only issue that should bring the world's focus onto North Korea. [Okay, I'm out of time on this lunch break. No time to polish up the post.] So over at GeorgeW.Bush.com they've got a whole "compassionate" photo gallery. Apparently being compassionate means with black people for some reason. Anyhow, it got me thinking, maybe just maybe President Bush be a brother. I mean all the signs are there. I think ol' George has the fever. Yeah. In fact I'd say most conservatives got the fever. Like my fellow Monkey Ben. Yeah, he's got the fever. Likes the blues and that old time soul music. Ben won't admit it, but deep down inside ben likes to dance The Funky Chicken. Big time. Big time. Always alone and always under control-- the conservative way. I've always said Swedes were bloodthirsty people. I always tell people "never trust a Swede, and if by chance you have to do business with one, make sure you''re packin' heat!!!" The Swedes are like the bad dog of Europe. The moment you let down your guard, they go for the jugular. It often happens suddenly and brutally-- and if you're lucky, you only get minor lacerations. If you're lucky. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Oh come James, on the Swedes aren't that bad! They're nice people. Peaceful. Freedim loving. Sexually liberal. Tolerant and stuff. They're nothing like the Portgugese. Or the Turks. Or Lithuanians. Or Alabanians. Now those are some bad Europeons-- not the Swedes!" No... no they've got you fooled brothers. The Swedes make those guys look like poseurs. The Swedes are some bad ass motherfuckers. Crazy I tells you. Don't believe the hot chocolate image. Sweden is the home of the vikings and crazy motorcycle wars. The Swedes they're the real thing. all that liberalness and openess it's a crock man. I'm telling you there's a dark side to Sweden that people don't talk about man. Believe me, I'm telling you. Ben's post about James Brown being a Republican reminded me of story former NBA star Charles Barkley. He was having a discussion with his mom about politics and she was complaining to him about him being a Republican. She asked him he could be a GOPer consdering they were "all for rich people." To which Barkley replied: "But Mama I am rich people." Anyhow, I've always been disappointed he never ran for governor of Alabama. That's a celebrity candidacy that I could totally get behind. Chuck was always a straight shooter in my book. Wednesday, September 10, 2003
King over at SCSU Scholars, the erudite westernmost* outpost of the Northern Alliance of Blogs, deserves well wishing, as it's his blogiversary. Drop in, read a bit, leave him a comment. Speaking of deserving, King asks a pretty good question. *Of course, on his site King has the California-based Hugh Hewitt listed as the "Commissioner" of the Northern Alliance. This is just shameless pandering to the political boss of the Minnesota Meaningless Titles Machine. (King also tacitly sided with Hugh, as did Mitch Berg, by encouraging Fraters Libertas to accept the Hewitt boot on their collective throat.) None of the other NA members consider Hewitt a "member." Lileks has curtsied before Hugh, rather than stand up to his bluster, but still managed to signal that he was being coerced. It's reported that some who peered into the broadcast booth at the Minnesota State Fair saw Lileks blinking his eyes in Morse Code while he was filling in on the Hewitt Show...something about "I-N-T-E-R-L-O-P-E-R." It's Too Funky In Here It's a pretty well-known fact that the "Rev." Al Sharpton and James Brown are pals. Asked to name his favorite song at the Democratic candidates' debate in Maryland last night, Sharpton answered, "Talking Loud and Saying Nothing," which is, "James Brown's song about the Republican Party." Ha ha, very funny, Al. Here's the problem, though: The Godfather of Soul is not only a Republican, who has performed for President Bush, but a fan of Strom Thurmond! (Of course, just because one is Republican doesn't mean one can't get behind Sharpton's struggling campaign, as this site would seem to attest.) Current drink: None. Current song: "I'm Payin' Taxes, What Am I Buyin'," by The J.B.'s on the album "Funky Good Time: The Anthology." Education Reform, Properly Understood This speaks for itself, but I encourage you to read the book review from which it's extracted, and then, if it isn't too much trouble, the book itself: The average American child spends 78 minutes a week reading, 102 minutes a week on homework and study, and 12 hours a week watching television. ...If households simply reversed the status quo, reducing kids television watching to 78 minutes and boosting their reading to 12 hours a week, it would do more to improve academic achievement in America than a thousand high-stakes tests and a century of No Child Left Behind measures. With such a switch in priorities, nearly every school could be a Whitney High. But achieving such a sea change would take a consciousness-shifting campaign of almost unprecedented magnitude. You can take the man out of the funny papers, but you can't take the funny papers out of the man. Or something. Anyway, Berkeley Breathed is coming out of retirement. In this bleak season, that's gotta be good news. Current drink: None. Current song: Al Franken's bullcrap on the Michael Medved Show. Love? Who said anything about love? What the world needs now is hate, sweet hate. Current drink: Lukewarm coffee. Current song: "Keep the Bugs Off Your Glass and the Bears Off Your Ass" by The Bad Plus on the album "These Are The Vistas." Y'know I don't I'm ever going to be able to take California seriously ever again. Because of the recall I mean. It's like one of those parties in college where one of your buddies gets really drunk on Irish whiskey and starts telling everybody how much he loves them and stuff. And you never let that guy live it down. It's the law. For the rest of his natural life you'll bust his chops. And every once in a while you call him on the phone slurring and imitating and stuff and you'll be like "hey, I love you man." And he'll be like "shut up man." And you're like laughing like crazy, because he'll never live it down, and he knows it. Right Ben? Right? Hey, I love you man. God I'm a bastard. You know, sooner or later the music industry is gonna come after us all. First it'll start with the file swappers. Once they've gotten all of the file swappers, they'lll go after people who burn CDs and stuff. They'll kick down your door like jack-booted gendarmes dragging you away in the middle of the night for having the temerity to burn a mix CD for one of your friends. They'll use strongman tactics, turning brother against brother, parent against child. Slowly but surely America turn into a musical totalitarian regime. With informers and stuff. You won't know who to trust. You'll be like "is they turn me on to new music or is he part of 'The Industry'?" One false move, one bootlleg copy of whatever and they'll send you to a music industry gulag where you'll be "re-educated" by loud recordings on intellectual property by Avril Lavigne. Punishment in these concentration camps will be swift and brutal and arbritrary. The living will envy the dead. Oh, the day is coming brothers. Oh it's coming and I weep for America. Tuesday, September 09, 2003
First DivX, now EZ-D I thought we had killed this idea already. But it just keeps. Coming. Back. You may or may not remember DivX (pronounced DIV' - ecks). No, not the online video compression codec. It was the attempt by Circuit City and others to rewrite the rules of Fair Use with a new DVD home video player format. New, exclusively proprietary machines, with built-in modems, special DivX dvd's that had complicated pricing structures, all based on the ability to charge the viewer for each viewing. The concept was sold as one of lower prices and convenience, but the truth behind it was dark, ominous, and far reaching. Okay, it was evil. There, I said it. DivX was killed a few years ago by nationwide grassroots guerilla campaigns (as best as I could tell, not run by large corporations, as "guerilla advertising" campaigns are these days). Circuit City even changed their product return policies as a result of the backlash. People were so upset with Circuit City that they began to buy items and return them, just to make trouble and busy work for the company. CC's customer friendliness was diminished as they began charging restocking fees, making some think twice about making regular purchases through them. CC's stock prices were hurt. Executives were canned. It was quite a time. If I remember correctly, I think Disney was in cahoots with CC on the first DivX thing. All you parents out there, imagine if your Disney dvd's racked up a charge per each viewing, or if you had to pay to "unlock" your favorite sci-fi dvd each time you wanted to show off your new subwoofer to a house guest. So imagine my surprise when today I read that Disney is spearheading a new type of dvd that has a 48 hour lifespan before turning to "an unreadable black" - a chemical reaction begins when the disc is first opened and is exposed to oxygen. No, it doesn't have the special player, with modem, or the multi-tiered pricing structure, like the more blatantly subversive DivX discs required, but still... There's something here that doesn't sit well with me. My concern isn't so much how this will affect the market. I'm concerned over the impact that such a format may have on Fair Use. No, I haven't taken the time to factor all of the potential ramifications. For that, I'll have to defer to David, our Economics Monkey, and Robb, our IT Monkey with a special interest in digital media distribution issues (i.e. he lauds iTunes and won't hesitate to tell you why Buy.com's eMusic service sucks). Normally, I refrain from "Disney is evil" talk. I like Disney. (Well, the old Disney.) And I do enjoy a vacation at the parks. But this one doesn't pass the smell test. I can't yet say exactly why. I will leave the details to my economics-nerd friends and Negativland aficionados. "I hope they translate Mencken into Spanish," writes Esteban Casaverde (neé Steven Greenhut) in a very clever commentary about ethnic pandering in the Golden State. “Non-Political, Non-Partisan” That's the New York Review of Books's description of itself in a new direct-mail piece. The New Criterion has the goods . . . and I'm kicking myself because of it. For a highly political, but adamantly non-partisan alternative to the NYROB, might I suggest this west-coast-based journal of statesmanship and political thought? Why, I just might! Current drink: Water. Current song: "Codename Dragonfly" by Mellow on the "CQ" motion picture soundtrack. Monday, September 08, 2003
"Friends, this is the definition of a Pyrrhic victory," says John Miller of Schwarzenegger and the Right. Yes, but vote for Arnold anyway because, as the nice Republican ladies I met at the mall yesterday told me, "We can't let Cruz win!" No, no. Of course we can't. Though I gots nuthin' aginst THE Gospel... [UPDATED] Oh, please no. I have heard the future, and it's... bluegrass gospel. Yes, the latest round of advertising from the folks at Time/Life is for a collection called "Heaven Bound: A Collection of Bluegrass Gospel." (And no, it doesn't sound like they've been touched by the elusive muse that the Cohen brothers captured in O Brother, Where Art Thou?) Now, those of us who listen (religiously?) to Hugh Hewitt's radio program have not yet recovered from the trauma that resulted from said host's recent indiscretions with a credit card and a telephone -- the Time/Life FOLK Collection. To assuage his conscience, Hugh insisted that every song be played as bumper music on the radio show so he could write off the imprudent purchase. I tried to justify the whole thing. Perhaps this was Hugh's way of giving his audience the background needed to really appreciate the humor of the folk era parody movie A Mighty Wind. But, alas, no evidence could be found to support this longshot theory. No evidence. Only pain. Could there be another round of listener-abuse in store? Even Lileks has spun off in a fit of music mixing that he has chosen to describe as "not techno - it’s hickno!" It's an electronic trance in which Star Trek meets Hee Haw. Could this confluence be one of the proverbial signs of the apocalypse? Or might this be some sordid collusion...? UPDATE: Guy over at Damascus Road cries out as a lone voice in the wilderness. One of them pro-folk folks, I reckon. Sunday, September 07, 2003
It's been so long since I posted that Blogger (the program/online service) didn't remember my login info. Yes, I've been away. Pranking and visiting Hugh Hewitt (and a few Co-Monkeys) in beautiful California. But now I'm back in Phoenix (Mesa really -- a suburb.) Will there be an epic post on the whole adventure? I doubt it. I'm too behind on important school matters. But will there will be some posts on the particulars? Sometime. For now, I need to point you toward something worth reading. Mitch Berg, over at Shot In The Dark, has written the article on Joshua Micah Marshall that I wish I had written. And he's followed it up with another post furthering the same topic. I'm picturing a Josh Marshall writing in November, 1944; "Why the Normandy Landings Were Bad Strategy."Co-Monkey Ben might want to pick up on the David Horowitz article Mitch mentions. As long as we're on it, I'll post the link to the Washington Post article that Mitch mentions -- which was originally paired with the Horowitz article by Power Line -- though it's always a good idea to read Power Line directly. Really. The other posts are top notch. Of course, the same holds true for Shot In The Dark. Gray Davis is out of step with California. That's not news, but is there a politician with more of a tin ear than he? Consider this line from the first "debate": Now we won in November and they wanted to have a do-over, be like the Oakland Raiders saying to Tampa Bay, we know that you beat us the first time, but we want to play the Super Bowl again.Remember, he's speaking in Walnut Creek, a short drive East of Oakland. Why would he pick that contest? Aren't many Bay Area voters thinking, "Why, yes, I wish the Raiders could have another shot! Well, the next best thing is dumping this ridiculous Tampa Bay fan of a governor." I know it's hard to believe right now, but if Davis does manage to squeak out a victory in the recall, a halo will descend around him. He'll be riding high, and so will the Democrats...and Republicans will be painted as evil would-be usurpers. The implications for California and for presidential politics (and possibly the national Republican party) will be seen for many years. I mention this because a friend of mine who is a true conservative sent an e-mail expressing reservations about the idea of the recall. However well founded those might have been in the abstract a few years ago, the situation now is very specific, very real and very critical. Saturday, September 06, 2003
It's time to admit the cold hard truth; the Roadmap to Peace between the Israelis and the Palestians is pretty much shot. Cold hard truth. Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas resigning today wasn't much of a surprise to me. I mean the writing was on the wall. It was either resign and retire to Paris or get killed by one of Arafat's henchmen. Abbas had no chance whatsoever. Cold hard truth. Frankly, I don't think the United States should get involved in this conflict. I think the United States should wash its hands of the whole affair and say to both parties: "You're on your own." I mean what's in it for us to get involved this mess? I don't really see any point. How does this thing affect my life? I mean to me it's nothing than a TV show: "Blood Vendetta" starring Ariel Sharon, Yassir Arafat, and a cast of thousands. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and it got a lot of explosions and politcal intrigue. The more I think about it, I actually think we're not involved enough. What I mean is, not in the right way. I think we should arm both sides, and let them loose like modern day gladiators and goad them on with grandiose rheteric: "Go to war my friends! The world has grown stale and insipid. Let loose your blood lust, let cities be battered down and your countries burned up, so that we start again! There would fun in that. Some interest-- something for us to talk about!" Yeah, that's what we should do. To hell with peace in the Middle East, I say let's go for all-out war. Friday, September 05, 2003
I just want say for the record, that I really, really like Diet Sierra Mist. It's just may be the perfect lemon-lime soft drink, superior even to Diet 7 Up. I'm not saying this because the makers of this fine soda are paying me. No God, no. Unlike other Monkeys who shall remain nameless, who take cash payments and blog entries about Hugh Hewitt--I'm saying this, because it is what I believe. I've never sold out--ever, never, ever, ever, ever--that's why you can trust me above all the rest at this weblog. In fact, just to prove the veracity of my passion for this evervescent soft drink, right now as I'm writing this, I'm drinking a can of Diet Sierra Mist with a pint of Georgi vodka. Georgi is damn fine vodka by the way. It gets you good and drunk, and it's cheap. Now, some people with fancy Dan tastes, might claim there are better brands of vodka out there. But let me tell you brothers, they'd be wrong. I've said it before and I'll say it again: vodka is vodka. It's nothing more than Russian fire water people. Debating its merits is like trying to have an intelligent discussion about the subtleties of moonshine. Of which I might add, I'm a big fan. Anyhow to summarize: Diet Sierra Mist very tasty. Vodka is vodka. Moonshine good. And man, do I dig German girls. So the Immigration Service is changing the citizen's oath. Some people say they've gone too far-- I say they haven't gone far enough: I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely solemnly, freely and without any mental reservation renounce all allegiance to any foreign state, of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to my choice of baseball, football or basketball team; that I will I will call refer to the sport known as “football” as “soccer”; that furthermore I will not participate or bet on sumo wrestling, jai lai, or camel racing; that I will not dress my dog or cat in clothes; that I will not pick my nose, clip my nails, or clean my ears in public; that I will respect other people’s personal bubbles; that I will wash my hands upon exiting the lavoratory; that i wll not run with scissors; that I will not make imaginary quote marks with my fingers when speaking; that I will make an honest effort to kinda sorta vote when it suits me, or at the very least, vote during the presidential elections, and if not then, then at least for the contestants on “American Idol”; that there is no “me” in team (even though technically it is); that I will never buy diamonds from gypsies; that I will not do a nude scene in a movie unless its tasteful or advances the plot; that when blackjack that I will always double down on “11”; that I will pronounce it “nuclear” not “nucular”; that I will turn off my cell phone when entering a movie theater; that I will not dance in public to Rick James’ “Super Freak”; that I will not wear dark socks and dress shoes with Bermuda shorts, or sandals with socks, spandex biker shorts, and that I will not wear white shoes after Labor Day; and that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God. Thursday, September 04, 2003
The monkeys have been busy harassing the nice folks over at the Hugh Hewitt show (you may have heard us yesterday saying "hello"). No need to get a restraining order--we're all on our way home. Fortunately, the boys over at Fraters Libertas have been covering the important issues. I'm going to stay out of the Latin debate, but since English is my mother tongue, I'll point out that the reference to "skeins of wine" is a bit...uh, tangled, since "skein" (from the Middle English skeyne) is a reel of thread. I think the esteemed Elder meant "skins," which is a great way to carry wine. If I were in ancient Rome, I'd probably have just lapped it out of the amphorae, but then I would have been one of the fraters appotus. (Now Brad can explain why that's incorrect Latin when he gets back home later this week.) Tuesday, September 02, 2003
I'm back from Burning Man. It was a good time, but it's definitely the vacation for people who want to work hard. Weeks of planning and preparing, a long drive up to the Black Rock Desert (twelve hours from San Diego), a lot of building and set-up (I'll be posting pictures of the roller coaster soon) and then a long drive back. But it's a good time, and despite what Brad thinks, I don't want it to stay the same. What's the point in that? It's been fascinating watching it grow from less than 5,000 people to more than 30,000. As a libertarian, I've had to come to terms with the fact that as the group gets larger, there has to be more rules. I'll blog about this more in the weeks to come. I will say this, though: it's funny to hear some of the people there talk about how they love to get away from commerce and capitalism. You can't pat yourself on the back too hard for living independently for a week when you did it by dropping $500 at the Reno Costco before you left... Latin Correction Update from Brad: Hugh Hewitt asked him today on the air how to say "McClintock Must Go" in Latin. Brad says that it's unbelievably complicated, and whatever he said was wrong. The closest approximation is "McClintock exeundus est," which is roughly "McClintock should get out." He'll describe the Latin details when he can get to a computer again. No Rest for the Monkeys Brad was on Hugh Hewitt again today. What else is new? Well, this time he was live, in studio! He managed to infiltrate somehow. That's our ambassador for you. I think he may have beguiled Hugh's producer with some of that Latin mumbo-jumbo of his. Unfortunately, I missed the entire thing. Evidently, Brad was distributing some pro-Fraters propaganda. I hear Hugh made fun of my angry little post on Arnold, too. I guess I'm a "Tom Bot" now. Ah well. Mr. Hewitt invited Brad back, and encouraged him to bring reinforceme . . . er, friends. I'm supposed to be on vacation this week. Looks like my effort to go seven days without shaving or wearing pants will be cut short. That's blogging for you. Monday, September 01, 2003
Not Ready For Prime-Time Player So, Arnold won't debate -- not yet, at any rate. Apparently, he thinks he doesn't even need to earn people's votes. Now that's confidence. (Or is it hubris? I don't know.) I'm going to make an unoriginal and, I think, pretty safe prediction: if Schwarzenegger manages to fool enough people into electing him, his most vocal supporters will be very, very sorry in 13 months' time. Wee Tyrants Remember when we decided to invest in the children? Bad idea... "It's a dime; it's nothing. It's just a dime for kids," says the head of a cabal of tax-money-grubbing do-gooders behind an initiative to tax espresso in order to pay for government pre-school and daycare programs in Seattle. There are three things wrong with the statement. "It's a dime." This claim is used to justify every dubious government program, from the National Endowment for the Arts to this preposterous scheme and everything between. It doesn't matter if it's a dime, a dollar, or $10,000. It's a bad idea, a terrible tax. It's a bad idea because it's founded on several faulty premises, viz., that the city will use the money to provide "high-quality" preschool (for that matter, that the city should be in the pre-school and daycare business in the first place!); that the taxes collected will be sufficient to the task (is it ever?); that taxpayers -- the people who drink espresso and the businesses that brew it -- will not be affected adversely by the new tax and change their behavior (what they drink, what they serve) accordingly. In other words, now who's being naive? "It's nothing." It's never "nothing." As the Seattle Times points out, if you're a two-latte-a-day drinker, it's about $73 a year. What's more, it's discriminatory! Coffee drinkers won't have to pay the tax. Only espresso drinkers will. "It's just a dime for kids." The most disgusting ploy of them all, using children as shields for the ambitions of despots. It's not a dime for kids. It's a dime for bureaucrats. It's a dime for the public-employee unions. It's a dime for fourth-rate Head Start clones. It's another dime for the leviathan Administrative State. I hope the good people of Seattle have the sense to reject this idea at the ballot box in a few weeks. Mark Steyn on the Plight of the New Masses "Alas, nothing dates faster than a futuristic vision: ...Instead of a world in which the workers are forced to operate huge, clanking machines below the Earth all day long, the machines are small and silent and so computerized no manpower is required and the masses have to be sedated by shallow distractions like supersized shakes and Wal-Mart and 24-hour lesbian wrestling channels on Premium Cable." Here's the rest. The Definition of Paleoconservative Ben will have to remind us where that link was that mentioned a blurb about what (or who) The Claremont Institute fellows eat for breakfast. I was reminded of it when I dropped in on the blog of Jon, one of my "paleocon" friends. He seems awfully pleased with this post. I offer it up as a menu option for Ben, and possibly even Big Trunk and Hindrocket. ulta vires "acting beyond legal authority" Yes, after an unprecedented power grab, newly appointed Minnesota "Sheriff of Latin," Hugh Hewitt, has made an offer to Fraters Libertas: "Friend and Ally" status in exchange for an annual tribute -- a bucket o' Minnesota State "Fair-fries." Now, there have been rumblings within the territory of Minnesota from other bloggers, eager to see Hugh appeased (Lileks has ceded to Hewitt, scuto bonae voluntatis tuae coronasti mé, "with the shield of thy good favor, thou hast encompassed me"). But as Virgil warned in his Eclogues, latet anguis in herba, "a snake lies concealed in the grass." I am reminded of the third Punic Wars (149-146 B.C.). Rome had defeated Carthage on two previous occasions, destroyed its empire and left the city barely still on the map. Carthage was hobbled, stunted, and no threat to Rome. But there was the relentless rhetoric of Cato the Elder, who ended every speech before the Senate, no matter what the topic, with Carthago delenda est, "Carthage must be destroyed." Eventually this rhetoric swayed Roman sentiment and the behemoth began another campaign against the mere shadow of its old nemesis. Some historians describe the Carthaginians as having been "tricked" into surrendering by Rome's promises of favorable terms. Upon accepting the conditions offered, Carthage was laid waste by the duplicitous Romans. Wiped. Off. The map. (For more than one hundred years.) Is Hugh so ruthless? One would not think so. But what is the slogan of his homepage blog? As a student of history, I feel compelled to eschew the role of moderator, and advise Fraters Libertas to remain non alienus iuris, "out from under another's authority." Principles aside, is such a conflict bad for blogging? I will leave you to ponder the words of Virgil, which Hewitt himself seems to know so well: fama malum quo non aliud velocius ullum. |
